Dispatches from a Teenage Girl

Chapter 22

I am actually excited to meet with Ms. Rivoli today as I have made such great progress on each assignment. I just have this whole new perspective now that I have seen how my love of writing could actually be something I pursue.

I am having some trouble with the writing samples. I really just want to send in all the Eagle Dispatches from this year with a post-it on it that says Green Star Girl = Lucy Windover. But that just might get me expelled.

But my mood changes when I walk through the hall and realize that something is happening that is very, very exciting to absolutely everyone and I have no idea what it is. Grace and Claire walk past me, clearly see me, completely ignore me and gush and gush about some party happening this Saturday night.

"This is going to be it! This is what senior year is all about," I hear Claire say. I know she knows I can hear because this is how I used to always talk. About how senior year has these big moments that will define it and be our memories for the rest of our lives.

"I cannot wait! I have the best holiday outfit," Grace adds, again definitely within earshot, definitely on purpose. Which is even more hurtful. I know this is how Claire can be but I always thought Grace was the more empathetic of the two and wouldn't try to hurt me. They must still be really mad.

I try to ignore them, I try to be happy about my writing and my Green Star rebellion, but I can't. These are my best friends. This was supposed to be the best year of our lives – and they are having it without me.

I continue to pretend to not hear them and pull my phone out of my bag.

High school drama. I am so over it.

I text to Sam, hoping he might be a good distraction.

Hang out with me. I'm not in high school :)

I reply. Do you want to this afternoon?

Instant reply. Yes! Have you ever thrown an axe?

And an instant reply back because... obviously. Ummm. No.

Perfect. Neither have I. Meet me at 175 Main Street at 3:30.

Ok? See you then. But please provide more details!

So I guess we have a plan. That I will better understand later. But who cares? It's something. It's a plan that I have that makes me feel a bit better about not knowing anything about this party,

And this time I text my mom to let her know I have plans after school and will be a bit late. I am much more in the good books now that I have been doing homework for seven days straight, hours at a time. She knows I need a break. I just don't tell her the axe part. Or the Sam part. BUT at least I tell her some part.

Just be home for dinner.

She writes back.

I force myself to keep thinking about my exciting plans as I go through the rest of the morning hearing whispers about this god damn super party that I still have no idea about. I just know that no one bothered to invite me and that my two former best friends can't stop talking about it.

I head to Ms. Rivoli's office for my weekly meeting but this time I am less nervous. I am actually really proud of myself. I have been working really hard and these assignments weren't easy.

I get to her office, place a pile of papers in front of her chair, along with the binder, and sit down.

"Let's do this," I say. This is the first time I have ever initiated the conversation. I can tell she's noticed.