Dispatches from a Teenage Girl

Chapter 9

I text my mom to let her know I am hanging with friends after school. She doesn't seem too concerned. I mean I did go to school the whole day today and everything. But I need to be home for dinner, she does emphasize. Sam has brought me to his friend's house. We are all just sitting around on the back deck overlooking a grass yard.

There is a guitar being strummed. Some weed being smoked. Some beer being drunk. But not much conversation. I was quickly introduced to everyone but I don't remember anyone's name.

Sam's passion project partner is here and they keep showing each other things they're pulling out of their bags. I am not sure what but each share invokes some serious nodding in agreement and some hints of doing this for their event as well. I am standing off on my own, sort of out of the circle but also kind of in the circle. I keep trying to find a cool way to stand so that I look totally casual but I can't figure out what to do with my arms. I keep crossing them but then uncrossing. One hand on the hip. No, that looks weird. Holding hands behind my back.

I pull out my phone too because Sam isn't really talking to me and it will give me SOMETHING to do with my hands.

I text Grace.

Hey, I am at Sam's friend's house but no one is talking. HELP!

Grace writes back almost immediately.

Tell them how you got called out in math class today.

I am not totally sure if Sam has told everyone that I am still in high school. I mean he just graduated last year, we aren't even a full year apart. But it sure feels like more sometimes.

I look around and notice some balls strewn about the backyard. YES!

"Hey Sam," I say gently as I feel rude interrupting. He turns around quickly and smiles.

"Want to play bocce?" I've always loved bocce. As long as you have a set, you can basically play anywhere.

"Uh, ya," he responds and jumps up. "Who's in?" A guy and a girl stand up. Perfect, we have a game. I wasn't sure how much longer I could have stood here and pretended that I wasn't supremely uncomfortable. And awkward. Sooo awkward always.

"Boys against girls?" Sam suggests. We all nod.

I am paired with one of the women I had seen earlier. Her name is Avalyn. She is stunningly beautiful. Prettier than Natasha Pierce. I feel like shrinking into my own body and disappearing.

"Are you any good?" she asks me.

"No, not really. I get a lucky shot in every once and awhile. You?"

"I am amazing at bocce ball," she replies with a completely straight face. I can't tell if she's joking or not. But I hope she isn't. I really want to win.

Sam throws the little bocce, the white ball. Now we all have to try to get our team's four balls closer to the white one than the boy's team's balls. He follows with a bocce ball and gets within about a foot and a half. Avalyn looks at me with a smirk and winks. She winds up and underhand throws her bocce, it lands, spins backwards, kisses the white ball and sticks.

She holds up for a high five. I enthusiastically high five her back. She was not joking.

"You were not joking."

"Nope. Growing up in an Italian family with a bocce court in the backyard definitely upped my game."

"Amazing!" I basically want to be Avalyn. She is so cool. Effortless.

Since our ball is closest, Sam's team gets to keep trying to beat Avalyn's ball. Sam throws. No where close. Avalyn's maybe boyfriend, Fred, throws. Closer, but still not close enough. This goes on. No one can beat Avalyn's throw.