chapter xvii : passing out

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│ ◢◤◢◤   TW: mentions of alcohol addiction, blood, trauma (ie. anxiety, depression, abuse, yelling, etc.), allusions to sexual relationships, slight feelings of derealisation
◢◤   f/p - favorite pasta (hello fellow italians)

└——————— - [ 📼 ]. +
w.c.: 5.1k+

— i laid in bed, staring at the ceiling in boredom

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— i laid in bed, staring at the ceiling in boredom. for once in my life, i felt like change was a good thing. moving out of Polavania to be with friends was a lot for me — it's insane how people could change my life right?

i sighed to myself. i couldn't stay in this bed for so long. don't get me wrong i love the boys and all but i guess they.. weren't enough.? at this point, i was thinking perhaps vertigo would make the ceilings look more appealing.

i turned on my phone. may 27, 2063 shined in my eyes.

i scrolled through random apps, looking for some sort of pleasure- anything to hold boredom by the hand and squeeze it til' it went away.

my fingers did a short tango before it decided to go into my contacts. i sat up, back against the headboard in hopes i could talk to someone.

the room felt more lonely than usual, garbage pail half full, empty walls with only a single tapestry hung up, the whirring of the mini fridge barely audible, led lights set on light blue, and total silence — an introvert's wet dream.

after some time scrolling, i paused on a certain name, eyes fixated on it as i scrolled back up to stare at it in wonder. it almost felt foreign to be tapping on it, finger hovering over the call button. what if i was bothering them? but a feeling of need and eagerness made me press the screen nonetheless, watching it flicker to dark grey with a red hangup button at the bottom.

within a few rings, i got worried. then nervous. then anxious. counting. . . counting. . . what was i doing?

before the last ring could could off, the sound within my ear instantly changed.

"hello?"

there's that ever so sweet voice i've been wanting to hear.

"hey f/n." i felt myself smiling.

"aw hey gogs. you doing alright?"

"yeah. yeah i am."

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