Can't Let You Go [Dnf Mafia au]

.:Chapter 61:.:Cupid Chose The Wrong Person (I Think):.

In my shoes, I'm glad to have someone with me even though I push them away. They're not always there when I need them, but also, everyone is busy with their lives. I wish I had one. I got myself into trouble I can't get out of. I want my old life back but I also want love.

Looking back at my decisions, I wish I had picked a better city to live in. But then I wouldn't have met him, I wouldn't be here. Who knows, I could have had enough and just picked up that small blade in my bathroom. It's selfish of me to think of such, I'd be leaving my brother alone, in an unknown city.

I was at my worse at that time, and still am but better, because I have someone other than my brother that I know cares about me, and truly loves me for me. It's hard finding someone like that, that's why I choose to stay.

I can forget the past and create new memories, or exit right out the door and leave that one person that I showed my true self. Showed and told my feelings too, and cried in their arms when I needed to. Lost myself and found me again with them.

It's funny saying "I lost myself" and "found myself" when I don't even know who I am. I just know I'm with them. A part of me is with them and, if I leave then I'll feel lost, almost empty. Like I'm missing something, someone.

There are many people in the world, but I just know that, whatever I felt with him, I wouldn't feel it with anyone else. It has to be him. And if not then what's the point of getting into a relationship if the person I'm with, can't make me feel a spark of something. I sound crazy.

It's just, that I don't want to leave. But I want to have a life of my own, without the fear of being followed, targeted, or spied on. All the other encounters were my fault, I chose the wrong people to be friends with and dated. But if Dream wasn't beside me all the time, I'm one hundred percent sure I'd be kidnapped by now or killed.

I can try training and learning how to defend myself, so I can leave the house without feeling afraid. I just need to get over the fear of hurting someone.

I murdere- defended myself last time and, I can't help but feel relieved. I prevented myself from getting hurt without having someone to help me. Isn't that great? or am I just finally losing it and going insane?

Maybe both.
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TW/ mentions SA

"You don't understand- it's not about that! You weren't there! So why doesn't it concern you so much." George yelled back, at this point why are they even arguing, they're just going back and forth "I'm your boyfriend? Of course, I'll be concerned about you, isn't that what you want? You want attention from me."

"I was with Karl. What the hell were you thinking?! Did you expect me to react all happy and shit? You embarrassed me in front of everyone!..." sigh. George rubbed his forehead while his ass of a boyfriend stared at him in disbelief.

"You know how rumors spread around high school, I already have it hard at home." What's the point, it's only a year, I just have to live for a year. If it gets worse then...just cut it off.

"Let's just break this off." "What?" He started coming closer
"I'm breaking up." George tilts his head, having his back resting on the car door "no you're not." Mason yelled hitting the roof of the car "just because I touched you in a place you didn't like doesn't mean you break up with me."

"You're my boyfriend, you gave me consent." George scoffed "what? I didn't. I told you to stop, you made me uncomfortable." He should have just gone home, broken up on the phone, and done. It was a very bad idea to meet up at night when no one was around.

"And and in front of all my friends? What's wrong with you?" Mason leaned in more "back off mason. Stop." George pushed him off "why are you like this? You weren't this way when we met." He came and quickly slipped his hand around George's waist and the brunet froze completely "stop." He pushed but his back was pinned to the car again.