The missing lies

Chapter 19 : lovers quarrels

"oh "

Ezra walked back towards me but stopped leaving a gap and playing with his empty glass

" back that day I felt horrible for not talking to you or doing something so after class I rushed to the fencing hall to appolgize or talk but you and Daniel were deep in each others faces"

"whoah wait a minute Ezra, for your information we didn't kiss that day my hair tie was broken and he was trying to help tie up my hair he angeld his face to look like we were kissing but that was it"

"oh yeah rght why would he do that?"

"to make you jealous you jerk !
Because I actually had feelings for you"

slince fell once more
and tears began to pool at my eyes
I had said it and for the first time I had come to terms with these "feelings"
I couldn't understand all this time

I had actually fallen for Ezra

"May-"

"No
and you don't get to be mad at me or except me to explain stuff to you because we are not a couple and frankly it's none of your business anyway.

In fact the sheer audicty for you to even be mad at me is insane when your out there making out with girls "

the words stung
I could tell just how much they stung
The visual hurt could be seen from  a mile , it's The way he stood it had weakened,
He seemed so strong a few minutes ago .

I felt a tiny bit of guilt but rage took over numbing any other emotion than it.

"Maya the video.. "

"yeah the vidoe Ezra how dumb do you think I am ?

we were just fine at my house remember and then after you got thoses texts you distanced yourself oh and all of a sudden Emma's posting your video really".

"for f*** sake Maya that vidoe was from long ago, I still lived where I lived I hadn't come here and it was a dare ... Emma isn't anything to me ".

"boy you love kissing dares "

"Really Maya are you serious?"

"look Ezra you don't have to explain your relationship to me ok as far as I know we are not boyfriend and girlfriend and we're certainly not good friends to each other either right now "

I spat the last venom I could conjure up.

"you know the video already had me feeling like crap i didn't think you would too Maya ..

enjoy the rest of your evening get home safe".

he waved at me with tears welling up in  his eyes.

i couldn't hold up the facade anymore
I started  sobbing  realizing what just happened in front of me at what just happened.

i had hurt him in ways i couldn't have ever  imagined

i clearly  hurt him deeply .. I could just see the amount of pain he held in his eyes before he left .

This feeling erupted in me a feeling I never knew I  could feel ever again hurt.

It swallowed me whole   And completely consumed me overcome with it I coverd my face with my hands and  sobbed quietly
until all my mascara had basically run off my face

after siting  on the wet grass and wallowing in my pain for a bit i had taken of my shoes and walked to my car .

i didn't care much if people saw my puffy eys or ruined masacara or my bare feet and heels in hand i had walked right out  of the house towards my car  I had dropped off May's gift before leaving.