Finding a Hart (rewriting)

Dream

You had dozed off after the conversation but you didn't sleep for long. You looked over to Luca who was fast asleep but he didn't look peaceful. He looked uneasy even in his sleep. His breathing was heavy and uneven.

"No," he whispers and he shifts around a little. His grip around you almost tightens as he whispers again,"No...please."

You put your hand on his chest and your hand moves with him. You move it to his cheek and whisper," Luca?"

His breathing is heavier and he shouts just before shooting up. "AMELIA!" He looks around the room frantically and you sit up as well. "Luca, Luca it's okay. I'm right here," you say putting your hand on his chest and the other on his bare back. Luca's eyes meet yours and you see so much fear in his eyes. "It was just a dream," you whisper as you move your hand to his cheek. He closes his eyes and leans into your touch.

He takes you in his arms and you both lie down again. He closes his eyes and takes a few deep breaths. "Are you okay," you finally ask breaking the silence. He doesn't answer for a long time.

"Yeah," he eventually answered. You moved your arm to make it rest on his chest. You couldn't help but worry about him even more. The dream he was having must have been intense because Luca doesn't talk in his sleep. The fact that he also shouted your name doesn't make you feel any better. Since you two have been living together you have never heard him talk in his sleep but you didn't ask about it. You didn't want to begin back the memory of the dream.

You stayed up until you saw him go back to sleep. Knowing he was asleep and okay made you feel at ease.

The next morning you woke up alone in bed. It felt so empty in the bed without him. You walked out of the room and looked around. "Luca?" you called out. There wasn't a response.

You wandered around and went to his room. He was standing there putting his shirt on. You stood in the door way and stared at him. You watched as he buttoned his shirt. He then reached for his tie and he wrapped it around his neck and did it perfectly. He fixed his collar then reached for his deodorant. He sprayed himself and you coughed a little from the strong musky smell.

He turned around and saw you in the door way. "Are you okay?" he asked as he chuckled. You missed his laugh and his smile, his heavenly smile. "Yeah," you responded giggling.

You walked to him and threw yourself onto him and kissed him. The warmth of his lips will never get old. You pull away and look at him. He looks back at you and you notice once again that something is really bothering him. You can feel that he is hiding something.

"Did you sleep okay?" you asked remembering about his nightmare. He nods his head and pulls you even closer to him. "Even after your nightmare?" you asked. He paused for a moment and there was a glimpse of fear but it quickly faded away. "Yeah," he said with a small smile.

"What was the dream about?" you asked hesitantly. Luca didn't answer the question. He was almost afraid to answer you. "I have to go to work. I'll see you later," he eventually said. He kissed you on the cheek and walked out the door. "If you even come home," you mumble very softly but not soft enough that Luca couldn't hear it. He paused from a moment then turned to face you.

"Amelia?..." he said. When you finally realised what you had said you turn to face him. "Luca, I didn't..." you stopped talking because you didn't really have a way out of what you said. It's not like you wanted to mean it but you did. With Luca's sudden change it's hard to think anything else.

"What are you thinking about Amelia?" Luca asked. "You're doing that thing when you bite your lip when you're deep in thought." You look up at him and walk towards him. "I'm thinking about you. Even though you don't want me to, I'm worried about you Luca?" you said stopping in front of him.

"Please don't do this again Amelia. I already told you what happened," he said. You wanted to say something but you held back. You didn't want him to turn into the icy man he was yesterday. You averted your gaze and looked at the ground. Luca stepped forward and kissed the top of your head. He then disappeared through the door.

What is he hiding from you. Why won't he tell you anything. It's frustrating. He did the same thing when you first moved in. He was distant and cold and then he eventually warmed up to you after you got into an argument. The sexual tension was too much and he finally gave in and he kissed you and then one thing lead to another and you were waking up in his bed. After that you got closer to each other and he was completely vulnerable with you. He had changed. He was a different man, a man that you fell for.

You couldn't really dwell on this matter because you had to find a dress in about 45 minutes and you weren't even close to being ready. You were going alone because you had no friends and your mom was not strong enough to make it.

The loneliness was slowly becoming a part of you and it's the reason you weren't able to tell Luca you love him. The loneliness had consumed you.

The reality of someone being with you and loving you was your fantasy. You always wanted it but the problem was that it didn't exist for you until Luca. You can't help but wonder if that was slipping away from you and what made it hurt the most is that it didn't really actually hurt because you were used to it. The loneliness has made you so numb that you didn't really feel any of it.

A/n
I really hope this all makes sense because my ideas are sort of mixed and all want to come out at the same time. It's actually a problem that I have everyday of my life but we move. Anywayyyyy let me not keep you.
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