GOLDWING (ing version)

chapter 34

DAMIANO'S POV
(

3 months later).

It was not easy to process... that I was the father of that child. It seemed impossible.
That day, she sat me by her bedside, and we talked for hours. It was a calm conversation, full of questions, and many answers, many explanations. Everything was now falling into place: her recurrent trips to the hospital, nausea, the tiredness. That was just her little... I mean, our little human being showing signs of life. When she told me it was a girl, I filled with joy.
We kept idealizing her appearance for a long time, discussing her physical features. Vic would say that on the ultrasound she had my lips and my nose. On the other hand, I'd say that she would be blonde with blue eyes, like her mother. And when she was due to be born, she would be born in her mother's homeland, Denmark. And when she grew up, she was going to be the feminist friend of her friend group and she was going to have a messed-up personality, like mine. At the moment, I excluded all the negative things from my thoughts. I didn't think about Giorgia, or the burden it is to have a child, or the change it would make in our future, and even less if nobody knew she was pregnant. I was too happy to think about not-so-good things.

By then we had just finished touring Europe. There were 32 shows, in 2 very tiring months. We were back in Italy, back home. Back to a bit of peace. Meanwhile, Hope Lullabyes - The Rooftop Sessions was already a project the world knew. We decided to organize an event a few days before the official release of the album, planned to detail, in Paris, France, in one of our favorite spaces there. We also managed to do some themed spaces around Europe, to spread the word about the project.

Vic was super excited about it, about everything. Even at almost 5 months pregnant, she would do anything, and wouldn't sit still. What helped is that nobody knew about her pregnancy except our families and the other members of the band, so they didn't restrict her at all. But I also stopped her from doing certain things when I saw that she was overloaded, like interviews or some work. And when she was quiet, I often saw her studying for her college entrance exams, which would be close to her due date, so she didn't know whether to take them or wait another year.

On one of the nights of the tour, we were sitting together on the bed in my hotel room, and she started designing the outfits that we would wear on the day of the album premiere. Two suits, in shades of white, at least appeared to be white until she told me "That's the color of the leaf, doesn't mean it's going to be the color of the clothes, idiot". But my theory wasn't so wrong, because the suits were cream. They were both the same, but hers was slightly wider, maybe to hide her belly.

When we went to Paris, we felt weird, about traveling alone, without Ethan, without Thomas, without Leo. 3 days before the event, we were already on set, orientating things. Normally, we could hire someone to do that, but it wasn't going to be the same.

After much anxiety and excitement, that day arrived.

I remember seeing Vic that morning sleeping late, and I had to wake her up. Her excuse was the classic "The baby was kicking a lot and I couldn't sleep". But that day I had to get her out of bed because we would have interviews in a little while. We gave 4 interviews, 2 by mobile and 2 live. The questions were similar, like "What inspired this album?", or "Is the album about someone?". We decided not to mention that the album retells my story in the first person, to preserve my privacy, so we "made up" that we are telling a fable. Once the interviews were done, I accompanied Vic to an atelier owned by a friend of hers, where our clothes had been made. They were simple but beautiful and worked to detail. My coat had an angel embroidered on it, and hers too.

"Vic, why do you have an angel here?"

"Angel of Angel. You know very well what that means. Pay attention to the details of the outfit, you'll find some things."

"Makes sense. Your clothes... does it fit?"

"Damiano, I've put on 17 pounds, but I'm not that dumb. The trousers have an elastic band."

When I took off my clothes, I noticed another detail in the trousers. Some coordinates. I googled them and found out they were the coordinates of the studio where we recorded the album. Wow, she thinks of everything.

We had lunch at a fast-food restaurant, without anyone knowing us. That reminds me of the old days when we used to go to McDonald's to eat with the money we had earned from a day of playing in the streets. She always ate the same thing, and so did I.

The moment we got back to the hotel, we were photographed and interviewed by some reporters. At the reception, Ethan, Thomas, Leo, and some friends of ours were waiting for our arrival on a giant couch. With them, they brought by surprise Chantal, who always does the best make-up.

The last few hours were tense. After a quick trip to the event space to confirm some things, we went back to the hotel to get ready, in a rush that only God knows. Victoria felt nervous, as always. But the feeling we felt was inexplicable. That feeling that, finally, we had done it, after so long, after so much work. In the minutes before the van arrived, we were just in her room, sitting on the benches on the balcony. We could see many fans outside the hotel, which surprised us. We were at the height of my happiness, with a friendship stronger than ever. When they called us to go to the van, Vic sat up in bed, shrinking a little.

"What's wrong, Vic?"

"Damiano, I think she moved," she said, with one hand on her lower belly. I approached her belly and said: "Baby, I know you can hear me. Please leave your mommy and daddy alone, just for today".

We went down the lift and walked together to the hotel exit. We were showered with lots of affection and gifts by the fans, who were super nice. And at the entrance of the event, there were hundreds of people. We weren't expecting such an impact or such positive reactions. On the red carpet, most of the people had already arrived, and we were among the last to arrive, at our event. All eyes were on us, all the cameras were focused on just the two of us. It didn't feel real, it felt too good to be true.

The event started with some acknowledgments, toasts, and a dinner. Then came the part we prepared the most: the performance. On a small stage, we would play live those 8 songs, in front of hundreds of people. And for me, it was the most beautiful and exciting part of the night. Seeing people excited to hear the songs, no matter what language we were singing, made me feel even more fulfilled. The last song, If You Were Sober, got me even more emotional because it transported me back to everything I've seen Victoria go through. The addiction, the fall, the withdrawal, the relapses, and the stabilization. The silence that fell when I sang the last line of the song "But then things would be easier if you were sober" contrasted with the amount of clapping we received. Soon after, she dropped the guitar and hugged me, while crying, and I cried along with her.

When the event was over, I remember seeing Vic running to the van, and pulling me by the arm with her. "I'm so proud of you. I'm proud of us," I said, giving her another hug. We couldn't stop crying with joy, and laughing about unusual things that happened. When we arrived at the hotel, there were still some fans waiting for us, and we spent a long time talking to them. It was almost two o'clock in the morning when I had turned my mobile on again, and Vic and I were walking up to our rooms. The next thing I knew, Vic was leaning on the iron support of the lift, with one hand on her lower belly.

"Is she moving again?"

"No Dam, that's worse.", she said, cringing even more in pain.

"So...we're going to the hospital?"

"And we're going there dressed like this?"

"Of course, we're not going to bother changing."

"No, no, no, this can't be happening. Damiano, she's too little, she..."., she said, crying on my shoulder, interrupting the crying with huge pains. "I know, angel. It will be all right, I promise."