Traces and Storms

xxxvii

   What greeted me the moment I woke up was a pristine ceiling, with rows upon rows of fluorescent lights. The steady hum of humidifiers; the scent of antiseptics. I looked to my left. The green curtains were drawn. Shifting my gaze to my hand, I finally noticed the needle—covered with white plaster—stuck on my hand. I traced the transparent tube attached to it, and it led to an IV drip hanging above me.

I closed my eyes, trying to recall of the things that happened which could have led to this situation. The most vivid sensation could remember was Jongin's warmth as he held my hand that night. That was it. My mind went blank afterwards.

"She's awake," a muffled—yet familiar—voice said. "I'll call a doctor."

Something soft and cool landed on my forehead, only to travel down my cheeks. My mother's hands.

"Suji-yah," she muttered. Her voice contained this certain gentleness and vulnerability I never knew existed.

"What am I doing here?" I choked out. My throat felt dry as cotton; it was difficult for me to speak.

"Jongin brought you here," Mom explained.

Why?

Two people went through the curtains: a doctor in her pastel blue uniform, and Jongin.

She checked my temperature, and quickly flashed a penlight on my eyes. She glanced at the IV drip before adjusting the roller clamp.

She explained some things to Mom—things I couldn't be bothered understanding, considering I was too preoccupied thinking just how I got to that state. The outcome must have been good, however, considering her face showed relief as she thanked the doctor. The doctor gave me a reassuring smile before leaving the room.

"Jongin, thank you, really," Mom began.

"It's the least I could do," he replied.

My head spun, and I closed my eyes. They were still talking. I could feel the vibration of their voices, but I failed to make out the words. Mom's hand was back on my forehead, and with that familiar feeling, I drifted off—once again—to sleep.

-::-

I got up again, and realized the heavy, throbbing discomfort from before was finally gone. I sat up straight. My back slightly ached—an indication I had been resting for too long. There was a bottle of unopened water on top of the drawer beside my bed. Stretching for a bit, I was finally able to reach it. I broke the seal, and began to chug everything down.

After going to the toilet, somebody entered the ward. My eyes widened upon recognizing her face.

"Soojung," I whispered.

She smiled a little. "I was just about to leave this here," she lifted the basket of fruits she brought along with her. Inside the hamper was a bear, and I knew it was something Taek designed because of its peculiar features.

"Please, stay awhile," I blurted out, before admitting, "It feels a little lonely here. And suffocating."

She smiled.

"Take a seat," I offered, with my open palm pointing at the cushioned chair nearby.

"Thank you," Soojung said. She placed the basket on the already vacant drawer before sitting down.

"How did you know?" I began. "That I'm here?"

"Myungsoo told me," she replied. "When he visited to apologize."

"Apologize." I echoed.

"For the things he did."

"What did...he do?" I asked.