Traces and Storms

iv

   It became the norm to see Myungsoo on a daily basis. Somehow, it felt surreal, knowing my neighbor, who seemed so distant at school, would march into my house with nonchalance, crossing the yard as if it was the most natural thing in the world. Something swelled up inside me whenever I'd see him on my porch. A messed up combination of anticipation, happiness, and fear. I didn't want to get used to it, because what we had wouldn't last. Even then, I was afraid of investing. I didn't want to give too much, only to realize it wasn't enough to make people stay.

I opened the door for him one evening. He was wearing a white shirt, and a pair of black jogging pants. His hair was still damp, and he smelled of soap and cantaloupe—a perfect balance of freshness and sweetness.

"Have dinner with us," it was more of a statement than a request.

"N-Now?" I stuttered.

Myungsoo nodded.

My oversized shirt didn't match my denim shorts, and my hair was nothing but a messy bun. "Wait, let me—"

"It's just dinner," he cut in. "If you're thinking about dressing up, it's too late. It's not like you have to impress anyone in there."

"But—"

Myungsoo grabbed my wrist. "No buts. Lock up and let's go, all right?"

I did what he told me, and with a grin so bright, he held my right hand and led me across the road, with a spring in his step.

"You're this excited?" I asked.

"Of course," he answered, unhesitant. "My parents are, too."

He opened the gate with his free hand. Their garden was as robust as ever, filled with flowers and homegrown vegetables.

"Who else is in there?"

"Sungyeol will come over later," he said. "So you better not leave early!"

I smirked to myself. He sounded like a child, and it could only make me say a helpless "Okay."

What greeted me the moment we entered his house was the aroma of savory food, along with warm laughter coming from the kitchen.

"Mom, Dad, I finally caught Suji!" Myungsoo cried. He gave me a pair of house slippers, for which I was grateful. He still didn't let go of me. We passed through the living room, and I tried to remember if things had changed over the years. The furniture was changed, and the television was replaced with a bigger one. A bookshelf, stuffed with paperbacks, stood in a corner. It wasn't there the last time I visited.

The next thing I knew, his parents were already giving me welcoming hugs, and I could only bow and smile in return. I apologized for only visiting now, and for not bringing anything. They said me going there was more than enough for them. The table was already set. Myungsoo pulled out a chair for me, before sitting down beside me. Mrs. Kim was across me.

"Come here whenever you like," Mrs. Kim began. "You're always welcome."

"Thank you, Auntie."

"And don't be shy," Mr. Kim added. "You're no stranger to us, Suji."

"See?" Myungsoo added. "Told you there's nothing to worry about."

He beamed at me, and I could only return a sheepish smile. I always had a difficult time mingling with families, but they were different. It felt like I was actually wanted. That they actually waited for me.

I felt home.

And a piece of my mind began to wander, thinking if Myungsoo's storm experienced this. If his parents actually knew their son was head over heels in love with someone.