Traces and Storms

xxv

   The projector's steady hum filled the silence surrounding us. How, then, should I reply to that? Was he being sincere? Or was it his habit rising up again, persuading me to not go anywhere?

"Don't say unnecessary things," I whispered. "They'll only become a burden later on."

"I still won't take it back, though."

I bit my lower lip. "You know," I began. "Meeting Soojung like that...she's very likable."

"What made you think she isn't?"

"Just...the way you talk about her," I trailed off. "Hearing things about her from you made me think she's the pain and bane of your life."

"She is," he admitted, fingers intertwined. "I'll give you that. She's my cure, as well."

"How contradictory."

He smiled. "Right? That's why you're different. No matter how much I try to be upset at you, I can't seem to do it. You bring good things to me. Imagine sunshine and comfort. That's you in a nutshell."

"I warned you to not say unnecessary things."

"You don't give yourself enough credit," he shot back. "Why do you hate it when I say these things?"

"Because it's you," I shot back.

He smirked. "Me having that kind of effect on the mighty Bae Suji. This has got to be my best birthday ever. I'm honored."

"You should be."

He laughed. "Then, how about you? Do you plan on marrying Jongin?"

Upon hearing his question, something got caught in my throat, causing me to cough. "What made you say that?"

Myungsoo shrugged. "Despite breaking up, you still have a good relationship with him. There's that possibility, right?"

I kept quiet for a moment, and shook my head. "He's the best I've ever had."

"He's your first." Myungsoo pointed out.

"That's why," I carried on. "I've this feeling I'd have a difficult time moving on. Or letting go of what happened between Jongin and I. Because he's my first, and he already set the bar up so high. Jongin's one of a kind."

"I'm a guy, too, you know," he replied. "That stings my pride."

"What an unmanly thing to say," I teased, which earned me a playful shove on the shoulder.

"You didn't answer my question," he pushed. "Do you plan on marrying Jongin?"

I paused, and nodded. "I would love it, if although it wouldn't be him in the end, I'd have a man beside me who has his traits. Is that such a bad thing to wish for?"

"It's subjective," was Myungsoo's vague reply.

Sungyeol then entered the room, carrying a bottle of water in one hand. We stared at him until he took the space beside Myungsoo.

"What about you?" Myungsoo seamlessly asked. "Do you plan on marrying someone?"

Sungyeol's eyes widened, and he turned beet red, much to his friend's amusement.

"You're tall and you look chic," Myungsoo remarked in between chortles. "But it doesn't take a lot to topple you over."

-::-

March shifted to April. The days inevitably became brighter, and everything was colored in pastel shades—from the pink cherry blossom trees, to the clear, cerulean skies. What made spring less enjoyable, I suppose, was the yellow dust. Most people had to wear a mask whenever I went out, and that included me.