Disconnected ; Lashton

33. I Miss You

I run my hands through my hair and rock back and forth slightly on my bedroom floor. I'll be fine, I'll be fine, I'll be fine. Everything is fine and nothing bad is going to happen. It's just a flight. On a plane. Something I've never been on before, something I'm about to be on for twenty-four hours. No big deal.

The plane isn't the big deal, not in the slightest. The big deal here is the fact that after a twenty-four hour flight I'm going to be in London. Our flight leaves at six AM, it's currently midnight. And to be quite honest- I haven't slept. I just can't! How am I supposed to? It's my last few hours in Australia, it's so hard to imagine leaving. Australia is all I've ever known. My mum is here, my house is here, my heart is here. Even if I find another piece of my heart in London, the rest of it will always find its home here. This is where I met Ashton, where I fell in love for the first time. Where I met Michael and Calum. Where I learned to live, where I've learned so many things. I don't want to let go of it, not yet. But I don't have much of a choice.

I listen to the quiet sound of my breathing but it gets interrupted by something else. Tap. Tap. Tap, Tap.

What is that? I lift my head from my knees towards where it's coming from- my window? In a confused haze, I slowly get up and stagger over to it. My legs are asleep but the rest of me hasn't caught up yet. Another tap on my window and this time I can see why. A pebble. I strain my eyes to look out the window into the dark night and almost have a heart attack when I make out the silhouette of someone standing in my backyard. But I know that silhouette all too well, so I open my window as quietly as I can so I don't wake my mum.

"Ashton?" I whisper-yell as I poke my head out and look down at him getting ready to throw another pebble. He drops it back into the grass and smiles up at me.

"Hi." He whispers back. I roll my eyes when he doesn't give me an explanation.

"What are you doing? It's the middle of the night!" I whisper-yell, growing more and more afraid that I'll actually wake up my mum. Would she even be mad? Maybe, I don't really know. I've never had a boyfriend sneak into my backyard at midnight before so I'm not quite sure of what her opinion on the matter would be.

"Get dressed, I'm taking you out!" He whisper-yells backs.

"What? Right now?"

"Yes, right now! Sneak out with me?" He asks, a cheeky smile on his face. I feel my heart skip a beat at how weirdly romantic this is, or maybe it's just because this is something we definitely shouldn't be doing.

"Give me two minutes." I say. He nods at this and I carefully duck my head back out of the window. All I'm wearing is my boxers and a baggy tee-shirt, and there are barely any clothes left in my room that haven't been packed up for the flight, so I look around frantically for anything to wear. In the bottom of my closet, I find a random flannel and a pair of skinny jeans I haven't worn in forever because one of the rips got too big for my liking, but they'll be fine for now. I pull them on and definitely button my flannel completely wrong but it doesn't matter so I put some socks on that don't match and shove my feet into my vans. I already know my hair is a mess from tossing and turning before I gave up on trying to sleep so I put on the only beanie I didn't pack and look back out my window. Then it hits me...

"How am I getting down to you?" I ask, knowing that if I try to leave any other way than the window, we'll be caught for sure.

"You trust me, right?" He asks.

"Duh," I reply with furrowed brows.

"Then climb out the window, and trust that I'll catch you." He instructs. I look at the distance from my window to the grass and my hands grow sweaty.