Platonic Hearts (Compass Series #1)

Chapter Forty-two

A Start

I told Ashen Aphelion everything.

From the things I've went through in my own home... The issues that involved him... Why I stopped going to school and why I lost interest being a consistent honor student. Me and Rhysand... How our families fell apart... How I lost a baby and what happened to me after all of that.

I told him about the orphanage... How I've been to Mexico to become a teacher, and how I had this kind of career.

Hindi ko alam kung gaano na katagal lumilipas ang mga oras dahil kanina ko pa hindi ginagalaw ang mga mata ko. I was just staring at my hands on my knees while being an open book to him. I'm not sure how he has been looking at me, and I don't think I want to know. I'm afraid he might look at me differently after this night.

But, I should see it coming. I'm not afraid to tell him any of this from the start... It's just that before I could even utter a word about this, I'm already scared. I'm scared that this might be a mistake. Bringing up the past is a mistake and I should just live in the moment with him. Ayoko lang na magkaroon ng ilangan sa aming dalawa...

"I was... on my seventh month when he cheated. When I found out... it caused me so much stress. The doctors said I had a premature labor and the baby didn't survive..." I shook my head. "Wala na akong may nagawa pa. I left... as soon as I can. I don't want to see the baby's body... I don't want to see Rhysand and his family... I don't want mine to know what had happened to me..."

I heaved a breath. "Napadpad ako sa orphanage. I received a scholarship there with the help of beautiful people. Nagpatuloy ako sa pag-aaral at nakagraduate hanggang sa napadpad ako sa Mexico..." I smiled a bit. "I was a teacher there for a couple of years, but then I studied therapy. I became a Therapist for children eventually... One day, a co-teacher of mine invited me to an event. I didn't knew there would be interviews there... The next thing I know, I was already featured as the artist of the year on magazines... Another interview followed after that, and many more came until I was invited to speak in so many platforms. I was hesitant... But it was a wonderful opportunity. They say young adults look up to me. Because of the money I earn on those events, I started having businesses as well..." Mahina akong napatawa.

But I didn't hear anything from him except for his rough breathing. I stopped talking and slowly look up to him.

Hindi rin siya nakatingin sa akin. He was looking down at his knees as well and his clenched hands on them. Ilang minuto siyang hindi nagsalita hanggang sa napansin na niya ang paghihintay ko. Napahimas siya sa noo niya at napatayo. "Fuck..."

His jaw hardened. He pinched the bridge of his nose before looking straight at me. Matagal niya akong pinagmasdan at umiwas lang ulit ng tingin. "Wait... Let me process everything..."

"I was really hesitant to tell you... Hindi sa hindi kita pinagkakatiwalaan. I've trusted you ever since before... It's just that I'm really ashamed of what happened. I wanted to leave it all behind... But I realized all I've been doing was avoiding it. I thought I was moving on, but I was just keeping myself busy..." I told him. "Ashen, p-please say something..."

I gulped when still, he didn't say a word. His face was completely lost. He placed both of his hands on the edges of the table where the jar was. Naanig ko ang pagkuyom ng mga 'yon.

"You could've..." His voice broke. "You could've just call me, Aria. One phonecall and I'd get you out of that apartment,"

"It wasn't that easy..." I shook my head. "It wasn't."

"How is it not easy? I don't..." Mariin siyang napapikit. His hands went to the side of his face before he looked up as if holding something bach. "I don't understand. Please, help me understand... Why? Why did you let yourself be treated like that? By your family and by him... Why? Why didn't you tell me right away?" He asked, crestfallen, like he's taking all the blame from this.