Platonic Hearts (Compass Series #1)

Chapter Nine

A Passion and a Promise

"Tahan na..."

Rhysand continued tapping my back. Nasa canteen kami ngayon at kasalukuyang naglu-lunch. Well siya lang pala. Dahil sa pagmamadali kanina, I forgot to bring my lunch box. Hindi na rin akong nag-abala pang bumili ng pagkain dahil wala naman na akong may nararamdamang gutom. I'm too busy contemplating my actions since I found out my score.

He continued stroking my cheek as if he's wiping something there kahit na hindi naman ako umiiyak. Napabuntong-hininga ako bago tinabig ang kamay niya. "Ano ba, Rhy? Hindi naman ako umiiyak..." I couldn't avoid but to sound rude. He's treating me like a child again.

"O-Oh..." Singhap niya bago binawi ang kamay mula sa pisngi ko. He cleared his throat before clasping his hands together above the table. "Huwag mo nalang kasing isipin 'yun. Let's just forget about the damn score, Aria. And then we'll make sure that next time--"

"Hindi naman iyon lang yung iniisip ko. What do you think my parents would react if they knew about this? Hindi lang... pagpapalabas sa akin sa bahay ang pwedeng gawin nila."

His teeth gritted. "Aria, that would be abuse..." Marahas niyang giit. "For once, have you ever thought of that?"

Umiling-iling ako. "It's the least I could give them as their daughter. And that's all what they asked of me... Success." Sagot ko sa kanya. Bigong sumandal ako sa kinauupuan at pinaglaruan ang nakatuping test paper na nasa kamay ko pa rin.

"Kilala mo naman mga pamilya natin..." I tried to laugh a bit. But that seemed to just pissed him out more. Bahagya niyang naihampas ang hawak niyang libro sa lamesa bago hinarap ako ng maigi. He pulled my chair a bit to face him too clearly.

Napayuko ako. Here we go again. Sa aming dalawa, ako ang kumuha ng course na Education. But he did most of the lectures.

"Listen. You need to stop thinking that you need to pay your parents with something just because they pay for your schooling now. Obligasyon nila iyon, Aria. I'm sure you'll be able to give them money and all someday, but don't pressure yourself this way if it's only for their satisfaction. You shouldn't pursue things their way, naiintindihan mo ba iyon? Do you realize how controlling this is?" Mahaba niyang usal. He shook his head in disappointment before speaking again.

"I thought... you would start to wake up from this." Dismayado niyang giit. "Simula pagkabata pa natin 'to, ah? I thought now you could at least do something to fix your relationship with them."

Suddenly, his words were like daggers to me. Oh, now he's going too personal? Akala ko alam na rin niyang wala akong choice pagdating sa bagay na ito? He knows I can tolerate this, and if I would do something like that, alam niyang wala pa ring maaayos iyon sa pagitan namin ng mga magulang ko. That... would only cause a bigger conflict.

Hindi makapaniwalang tinitigan ko siya. "So, all this time, you think I've done nothing, Rhy?" Sa tanong ko pa lang, unti-unti nang sumilip ang mga luha ko sa mata. "I've tried talking to them, Rhysand. Sa bawat pagkakataon na pinapagalitan ako, sinusubukan ko rin namang sumabat. I tried talking back to them sincerely... with respect. Pero wala eh..."

Napakabit-balikat nalang ako. "They won't listen. At kapag pinagpatuloy ko pa ang sa tingin nila'y pagdadabog ko, I would look selfish. Not just to them, but to my siblings as well. And for their sake, I don't want them to witness that... Ako pa naman ang tinutuluran nila. I must look strong, a-and responsible..."

Napaiwas siya ng tingin, as if everything I said was all absurd to him. Mapakla nalang akong napangiti at umiling nalang sa sarili. I push the thoughts out of my head. "You don't understand... You have a beautiful family, Rhy." I smiled while imagining his vacations and bondings with them. Palagi kong nakikita ang mga posts ng mommy niya sa tuwing nagbabaksyon sila. Those seemed really fun...