Her little button

Chapter 21

Sarah's POV

I watched as Y/N silently made her way up the stairs. "Do you think she will be alright?" Anne whispered. 

I said nothing to them all and decided to go after her.

I was standing outside her bedroom door when I heard quiet sniffles from the other side of the wall. I knocked gently "Y/N, it's Sarah. Can I come in sweetie?" I asked softly. I didn't get a response so I slowly opened the door and entered her room.

She was curled up into a tiny ball on her bed sobbing. I sat down next to her and rubbed her back. "Talk to me Y/N" I sighed.

She slowly sat up and turned to face me, her cheeks flushed and wet from her tears. "I just miss her so much already Sarah. I don't know what I'm going to do" she whispered. It broke my heart seeing her this way.

"Oh love. You still have all of us. I know it won't be the same without your mom here but you can call her every day she's away" I smiled, trying to make the poor girl feel better.

"But what about the time difference?" she asked shyly. "Don't worry about that. There's only eight hours difference" I giggled, making her smile.

"Do you want to go in the pool?" I asked her, tickling her sides. "S-SARAH STOP IT! Y-YES I D-DO" she laughed. I finally let go of her, leaving her a giggling wreck. "Get changed and I'll meet you in the pool" I smiled and went to find the others. 

"Guys she is fine. She's just a little upset that Helena isn't going to be here" I smiled at them all doing their own thing. "Thank God, it was a little worrying seeing her run off like that" Anne sighed with relief.

"I think we just need to be there for her while Helena is away" Cate smiled while everyone nodded. "I'm going in the pool for a bit if anyone would like to join" I suggested, they all declined politely which I was okay with. 

I quickly went upstairs and put my swimsuit on. When I got back down I saw Y/N was already in the pool. "What took you so long Paulson" she rolled her eyes playfully.

"I couldn't find my costume" I chuckled, jumping in. When I resurfaced I was met with a large splash of water in my face. "Oh you are in trouble Y/N Bonham Carter" I yelled, splashing her back. We had a huge water fight until we both got tired of chasing each other around the pool. 

Y/N jumped on my back, clinging onto me like a koala. I walked around in the shallow end for a while before putting her down on the steps. I sat next to her and smiled.

"Sarah?" she asked. "Yes, sweetheart" I replied, looking into her beautiful big eyes. "What's it like being famous" she asked innocently. Of course, there are a lot of amazing things about being famous but it also has its negatives.

"Well, the best thing about being famous is having fans. They really make everything worth it. It's the people like you that make it special" I smiled, making her giggle. "I hope I have a huge fan base like you one day" she sighed.

"Oh honey, you already do. What about everyone in there?" I pointed to the house. "You guys don't count" she laughed. "I live and work with you all so that's different"

"Touche Y/N, touche" I chuckled. We sat in silence, just looking at the sky until she hit me with another question that I was not prepared for.

"I need to tell you something, but I'm not sure what people will say. I figured it would be easier to talk to you as you know what it's like" she said quietly. "And what's that honey?" I asked, my stomach churning with fear.

"I think- I think I might be gay Sarah" she said, biting her bottom lip fearing what I am going to say. I smiled widely at her, making her feel less anxious. "Do you know what Y/N, that truly is great. There is absolutely nothing wrong with that and I want you to never be ashamed of who you are... in here" I whispered, pointing to her heart. 

She began to well up before throwing her arms around me. I accepted the hug immediately and held her tightly so she felt safe. "Thank you, Sarah, that was exactly what I needed to hear" she whispered.

 I rubbed her back, "any time Y/N, you know that we will always support you and be there for you, your mom included" 

She pulled away, beginning to look a little bit worried. "What do you think she will say?" she asked in anticipation. "I can't answer that love, I'm sorry. But I do know that she won't mind and that she will still love you either way. You are her little button, and that will never, ever change" I told her with a small smile.

I know exactly how she is feeling. I know my mom and dad were shocked when I told them but, they were even more shocked that my sister Rachel had came out to them the exact same day. They were so accepting and supportive, knowing Helena she will love Y/N even more. Purely because it is a scary thing to say, it will show her that she trusts her as her mom. 

We sat in another comfortable silence, just watching the clouds go by.

"What made you realise?" I asked her, out of curiosity. "If I answer that, it would be weird" she cringed. "I'm sure it won't be Y/N" I said softly, placing my hand on top of hers to comfort her.

She looked at me, seriously. Almost as if she was going to say something I didn't particularly want to hear.

"I grew up watching you all on the TV. I idolised you, mum, Cate and many more. I think that was when I realised that I was different... But I don't want you to think of me any different Sarah. If you do, I- I totally understand" she said sadly, looking away from me.

I held her hand tighter and used my free hand to gently pull her head back to face me. "Y/N, why would I think of you differently? I understand, I was exactly the same when I was your age! As you probably know, I have been in relationships with a few women. But I've always liked Cher and Adele, as an example. I even met them, it wasn't weird and they are extremely nice people. Just because you like someone, even if they know it, that doesn't make relationships awkward" I stated. A tear rolled down her cheek and I quickly wiped it away.

"I am so proud of you for telling me this Y/N. And I'm so glad you had the guts to express your feelings" I smiled. "Thank you, Sarah. I didn't want to tell you in case you acted differently around me or if it ruined our friendship"

"There is nothing you could possibly do that would make me see you any differently! You are my little best friend. I wouldn't have you any other way" I said, shoving her slightly making her giggle.

In retaliation, she pushed me into the pool but I ended up pulling her with me.