CHAPTER 32

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"Your coat of matte is completely gone." 

Hera is now applying the final coat for the zillionth time. The final touch up before the gharba dance is nowhere near to be ending. Since, she overheard someone saying that it will be recorded... 

"It's not like she had much to begin with." Ridha commented, tidying her hair.

"Guess I ate too much. The matte isn't bad for the stomach is it?" I am more worried about his stomach to be honest.

Lying isn't good, but I can't help it now. Maybe after when I've collected my thoughts properly, if I manage to have enough courage to talk to her about this. I just let a man kiss me. The heaviness is sinking me in.

He's winning the game. We kind of insulted each other in public, ignored each other in public, had verbal fights in public, got angry at each other and- it's so many negativity all at once. But when he's alone with me, it's different. He talks sweet, acts nice, says some unbelievable things, is easy to talk to or have a good laugh with. I like to tease him from time to time, he listens to all my blabbering patiently. I don't know what's the deciding factor here that has this huge control on the mood we take that day if we meet each other, sometimes it's soft and sweet, sometimes it's irritable to see him, sometimes I feel myself blushing at the thought of him. I wonder what he thinks about me, especially if he's courageous enough to kiss me when we don't have our feelings for each other sorted out. It's very disturbing. Whatever this is.

Whatever I say, do or try to think about, it always comes back to his lips on mine. This is a disaster.

The rest of the day is blurred into that one kiss. I spent my dance and socializing all moody that people started pointing out that I am awkwardly silent all of a sudden. If they knew, they wouldn't say so. I didn't even eat properly even though there were stalls lined up to serve me with all the Indian food in the world. I especially emptied my stomach to stuff myself with everything I can but then, Shaurya happened. 

Now we're at our apartment, Hera swiping through the photos of today while I watched her swipe through it with my head on her shoulders. It's clearly distinctive of the difference in the mood in all of the photos taken before and after it. Before, I was this energetic and excited big girl ready for enjoying all the fun in the world. And after, I am this confused red-faced mess. 

"Are you sure your talk with Shaurya went fine?"

"It was fine." I say with the least bit of energy that's available on that topic.

"What happened? Did you two fight again? " Yes and the opposite happened too. How confusing is it going to get for her if I start telling her about this.

"Yes." I say slowly thinking about our fight. I never said I hated you. This is definitely not hate. These were his words. He asked me how clueless I was? Was I being masked to the fact that he likes me, all this time? But no one sensed anything from him. I did not and my friends didn't too.  And if he did he should have told me. Today caught me off guard.

"He cancelled an important conference to fight with you-"

"And we kissed." I say as fast as I could to get it over with. 

"What?" Hera is surprised, with her mouth open wide, eyebrows shot up in confusion. 

I recited the whole thing for her anticipating to get a good advice from her. She listens carefully as I tell her about his arrival when I was going to dance with this young little man, kept saying things to flush me up and-

"One thing led to another, then there he was pushing me against a wall and boom we were kissing."

Hera is assessing my words patiently, cutting through each of my syllables and emotions. I told her about how they came in just after it, then after they left how he said that he had wanted to kiss me all this time.

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⏰ Last updated: Apr 10 ⏰

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