Recover: Book 2 of the Magic Mutations Series | ✓

76: Eerie Ends

December, 2018

"You don't seriously believe that, do you?" Emma asked as the final words of our story left my mouth.

"Believe what?" I said back, a little too lost in the past to understand which part she was referring to.

"That you are destined to ruin everything?"

I responded to her with a slight shrug. "When has anything gone right for me? First bonded partner died. Second bonded partner left me. One long-term girlfriend I pushed away once an invitation formed. Only true friend other than Olivia I've ever had died because he got messed up in my messy love life..." I had my eyes turned down the whole time, too fascinated by my hands instead of reading her expression.

"No," Emma then said. "It isn't your fault, Lukas. You have every right to fall in love with someone. If anyone is to blame here, it's—"

Head whipping up, I immediately snapped, "Don't you dare blame her!"

She flinched away for a moment, anger marring her face. But, slowly, her brows turned down and her expression softened. "I wasn't going to say Olivia. It's not your fault, her fault, or Ben's fault. I see that now. You were all just victims in this."

"Then who are you refer—"

"Rüdiger, of course. From the moment you were born, you were just a chess piece in his game for power. And by default, sure anyone you associated with was bound to get caught up."

Looking away from her, not ready to let myself feel free from the guilt, I mumbled back, "But I knew that... I knew anyone who got close to me would get caught in this web of woe."

"That doesn't make it your fault. What were you supposed to do? Hide from everyone forever?"

"Yes."

"Lukas... I don't think you'd have been the good person you are now if you had pushed everyone away. I don't think you'd be the guy who befriended a boy because the one fatherly figure you had asked you to, even though the boy in question was annoying at best to you. I don't think you'd be the silly person who somehow pushed that boy unknowingly together with your girl because you wanted him to be happy... I don't think you'd be someone who let that girl go once you knew what you had done because it was the first time you saw that boy happy and she was also happy. And I don't think you'd have let her go to break her bond with you just because you would have preferred she'd run than let her ever know the role she played in her boyfriend's death... even if it still wasn't her fault either."

Shrugging, I said, "But if I put the blame on my uncle... Who do I blame for the things I feel now? My uncle is gone. There's no solution to this pain... I just have to... live with it."

"Well... yeah. That's how heartbreaks work. The bond is gone. Eventually whatever you're dealing with that is lingering—which my guess is the remnants of the beautiful friendship you also had with her—will eventually fade away. Then you will just look back at your relationship with Olivia as a fond memory. The person who pulled you out of the depths when you really needed someone."

The corners of my lips tugged up as I finally glanced into her russet gaze. "Just like I'll remember you as that person who listened to my bottled up story when I really needed an ear?"

She returned my warm smile before reaching over to grab my hand in hers. "Exactly. But listen to my words when I say you didn't ruin what you two had. You two just weren't able to survive the death of someone you both dearly loved. Loss is a horrible thing to cope with. And who knows, maybe she will come back one day. Maybe she will at least get in touch to let you know how she is—"