A Journey To Love (COMPLETED)

SPECIAL CHAPTER

Michaella Francisco

"Hi happy 2nd Anniversary, honey." I greeted my boyfriend as I placed the sunflower, the wine and even the foods next to him. "I'm already at the point where I can't control myself anymore. I missed you so dearly, Felix. I still couldn't understand why you left me so early. Hindi pa nga natin nacecelebrate ang first monthsary natin. How could you do that to me Felix? You even said na there's not a thing that could make us inseparable. That you wouldn't hurt me so bad Felix, why? You promised me, you promised me that we will live together, succeed together in our journey." I asked him, crying.

I've been like this since I heard the news. He was driving when all of the sudden, a Bus lost its control, and hit Felix's car. It was so hard that it made the car flip until it rammed against a post. People were about to rescue Felix but the car suddenly exploded.

When they retrieved the body, he was burnt down, I couldn't even identify if it was him or not. But due to DNA tests, it was him. My heart was racing, as I watched his parents break down in front of his body. Felix was about to reach his destination, but due to the bus, Felix no longer lived.

It was painful to watch him, inside the coffin, lifeless. His parents decided to not accused the perpetrator, matanda na daw kase and it's the bus fault, not him. But due to some cases and laws, kailangan niya pa ring humarap sa korte at makulong. Felix's parents were very heart warming persons. Hindi nila kayang magalit sa taong pumatay sa anak nila, as they believe that the God decided to take Felix away from them.

When I was there at his night vigils, they were always crying, asking why it was Felix. Ang nag-iisa nilang anak, but then again I also asked myself. Why was it Felix? There could be another person, another human. But why was it Felix?

Two years had passed yet my heart still yearns for Felix, I need his embrace, his lips on mine. I couldn't even stay on the right path, more like I can't continue this journey without him. He set this journey, he tagged me along yet he left me.

The sun was shining brightly today, reminding me of how he smiled at me and whenever he smiled at me his eyes always disappeared, just like how he disappeared in my life. Felix was too bright, he was too happy that God took him away from me.

The light breeze blew my hair, and the flowers were still fresh. I see that everyone still visits him. The sunflowers were swaying due to the wind. The wind was blowing directly at me, as if it's embracing me.

I cried, I couldn't smile whenever I'm here, I couldn't do anything but cry whenever I visited him. It's as if his death put a curse on me. My achievements were nothing, because Felix isn't here anymore.

I cried, the wind was consoling me, telling me not to cry because it keeps on making my tears away from my eyes. The connection with Felix was getting stronger at this point, I'm feeling that he's with me. Touching me and wiping my tears away from my eyes.

If I could just touch him, I could just hug him and kiss him, saying how much I love him to the point na nakakabaliw nang isipin na wala na siya sa tabi ko. If only I could whisper sweet words in his ear, teasing him, telling how much I wanted to spend the night with him.

But I'm too late, too late for everything.

Noong buhay pa sana siya ay sana ginawa ko na ang lahat, na ginawa ko na ang lahat ng bagay na ikakasaya niya. If I knew this would happen then I should've spend the remaining days with him, doing nothing but cuddling in the bed, telling him my past and tales I created.

Everything is only ifs and there's nothing I could do at this moment but to cry until my eyes are red as blood. I couldn't even calm down, facing his tombstone. Memories of us keep on flashing in my brain, all the happy moments we spent, the dates and all.

If there's a second life, I wish for him to be happy because I know, in his second life, the girl that would stand beside him wouldn't be me, and instead another person that could capture his heart.

Imagining that situation, my heart started to squeeze tightly, I couldn't. I couldn't move on, I couldn't forget him. Much less imagine that there's someone replacing me. I'm such a fool for not opening my heart to him at the moment we met.

Hours after crying and I already calmed my heart out, yet pain still developed inside me. I caressed his tombstone, tracing his name down to the cross beside his name. There are a lot of things that I planned to do after we graduate from senior high, but all of them crumbled when he vanished from this world.

Looking up in the sky, it was blue and full of clouds. The scenario was exactly like when we first met, a blue sky full of clouds and a sun shining brightly. Under the tree he approached me and told me things that don't matter to me anymore.

"There's so many things that I wish we could do today and tomorrow. Even always, yet you hurt me, you left me alone in this world. I thought that it's already you whom I could spend my life with. Shouldn't have thought that way. Maaga ka tuloy kinuha sa akin. You know Felix, there are times that I don't want to wake up, thinking that I could be with you if I don't wake up. But I suddenly remembered that the whole journey will end if I decided to kill myself. Kaya I decided to continue this, without you. But don't feel sad because you're always in my heart and by the end of the day, it'll only be you who belongs to me until I die." I said as I put my hand in his tombstone.

There are times that I wish I could spend my time with you and there are times that I blame myself for everything. Yet remembering you made me sane enough to continue this journey alone. Could this be the right love I experienced but in a wrong lifetime?