oops! (L.S)

chapter 25

"Lou?" He hears Harry call him from his office.

Louis walks inside to see a dressed Harry putting some files in a bag. "Where are you going?" He asks.

"Something urgent came up in the office. I'll be gone for sometime."

"Oh." Louis nods instead of just convincing Harry to stay back and not go. But he's embarrassed as it is that Harry turned him down. He's a bit disappointed even but Louis also knows he would've regretted it if Harry had kissed him back.

His feelings are so conflicted right now.

"You'll be okay?" Harry asks.

"Mhmm." Louis hums and turns on his heels to walk out.

"Alright then, I'll be back as soon as I can." Harry kisses Louis on the temple and when he realises it, it's already a bit too late. He didn't mean to but he's developed this kind of an instinct whenever he's around Louis.

Louis stiffens up but doesn't say anything. A light blush creeps onto his face and he avoids looking Harry in the eyes. "I'll see you later." He says in a quiet voice.

A few hours pass by and Louis manages to distract himself by washing the dishes and cleaning the house up a bit, even though it's already clean and doesn't require any vacuuming or dusting again.

The silence in the house feels so loud. He doesn't like how he can hear his thoughts so loud and clear because he doesn't want to. He's trying so hard to block them. All he can think about is the night of the party which is the last thing that needs to be on his mind.

But he can't help it. His train of thoughts is everywhere and he needs an outlet.

Louis tries to distract himself and puts on a random show on the TV to watch. It does little to no help though. His thoughts are focused towards one person and as much as he wants that person to be Harry, it's not. It's Elliott.

He hates Elliott so much and he hates himself even more for liking him in the first place. He should've just listened to Harry.

Louis feels so stupid.

He's been so emotional lately and he hates it. He hates the fact that tears start pooling in his eyes everytime he thinks of Elliott now. Louis can't help the tears from streaming down his face because it just feels too much to handle.

Everything is starting to overwhelm him and he can't take any of it anymore.

For a slight second the thought of just ending it all crosses his mind. That would be so much easier than feeling all of these emotions.

While he's busy wiping away his tears, his phone vibrates. He sees its a call from an unknown number. Not knowing who it is, Louis picks up the call and instantly regrets his action.

"Louis please just listen to me."

Louis hangs up the call as soon as he recognises the voice. He has blocked Elliott from everywhere but of course he had to be stupid enough to pick up a call from an unknown number.

Hearing his voice just refreshed all the memories from the night of the party and a new wave of sadness washes over Louis and he breaks down on the floor, pulling his knees close to his chest. He's a sobbing mess, just laying on the floor. He's shaking so badly and he is fighting for every last breath of oxygen. He tries to calm himself down but nothing seems to work.

"Mum..." Louis sobs. He would anything for his mother to be there and hold him close to her. Louis misses her so much and the panic attack he's having is just making it worse. He's scared and he's sad and alone.