haikyuu x reader | book 2

Kuroo Tetsurou [Fluff + Angst]

everytime I see Kuroo I just see the emo emoji and it cracks me up sm

sensitive topic, includes mentioned of depression and suicide.
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You sobbed, a few hiccups escaping from your parted lips as the pillow cover had visible tear stains. You suppressed your sobbing voice by biting your lower lip harshly, leading it to slightly bleed and bruise. It was another one of those days where you feel as if depression was taking over you. Each second that passed felt like never ending years to you, you just wanted the breakdown to end, desperately.

Your parents were downstairs and were busy with work, they did check up on you earlier and you simply lied about your condition, claiming you didn't feel well and had a fever. They fell for the excuse and let you skip your classes for the day.

Pills and water were on your bedside drawer, it was left by your mother earlier who was worried sick about you so-called 'fever.' She did try to take care of you, but she was too bombarded with work. Your father wasn't taking it easy in his business life either. The both of them were concerned and did feel slight guilt for not being able to look after you. But your reassurance lifted up the heavy weight.

So now here you were, wanting to kill yourself. Maybe not you in particular, it was the feelings that hurt the most. Constantly draining the joy and positivity in your heart, replacing the happy memories with thoughts that lead you to overthinking.

You just wanted to end it all.

Opening the drawer, you found a slightly large pair of scissors - it was sharp enough to stab through your throat or even the stomach. But you were too far down in darkness to 2nd think your decision.

Taking a deep breath, you attempted to plunge the object inside you. But your door flung wide open, revealing a happy Kuroo. Leaning against the doorway with his usual smirk and bedhead hair, his uniform was worn neatly as his bag was on his side. "hows my love doi—...?" his mood instantly came down once he realized the situation happening in front of him.

You panicked immediately, your heart pounding each second he stared at you wihh disbelief and sadness. He opened his mouth to speak but nothing but silence came out of him, Kuroo looked left and right before entering your room with caution, carefully closing the door behind him as he immediately walked towards you, sitting right next to you with a concerned expression.

He wanted to cry, sob and hug you in his arms but he also wanted to understand you at that moment. So instead, he took a deep breath and calmed himself down. Taking the scissors from your hand and placing it somewhere where you couldn't reach the sharp thing.

"what did you just try to do?" even upon knowing your intention, he truly wanted for you to get it all out. Kuroo placed his arm around you and pulled you close to him, pour head resting on his chest as you sobbed, struggling to speak.

"i-I wanna die K-Kuroo."

"why?"

"b-because im so t-tired of th-the pressure i-I just wanna be perfect." he frowned at this.

"for who?'

" for everyone! "

"why do you need to be perfect, do you think it's possible?"

"yes! im just not enough! I'm never enough, and I will never be." you cried out, sobbing on his chest. His uniform getting wet each time a tear came out your eye, but he could care less about his neatness right now. You needed someone, and he was willing to be that someone.

"you set yourself to a standard so high," he paused and kissed the top of your head, caressing your hair. "even you couldn't reach."

"there's so many people better than me."

"it doesn't mean you're any less."

"yes it i-"

"it doesn't mean you're any less." he repeated, cutting off your outburst and interjection. He sighed lightly, he was pained to see you so down. He nearly couldn't keep his tears away, but he managed. His composure stayed and his positive demeanor refused to falter, wanting to show you his point of view of the life he believed.

"find joy in everything, my love. even at the toughest moment, you need to see the other side of everything. Know the limits of what you can do and what you can't." he stared at you deeply, he truly loved you. And it hurt him to see you giving up in the life you were given.

"i never asked to be al—."

"apbabababap." he shushed you with a weird noise, using his index finger to gesture you to discontinue what you were about to state.

"just as I said. there's days like this, but there will be more days filled with hope. i know you're exhausted of hoping, Y/n. But get back up again. If you reach the bottom of a well, you have no choice but to get back up, do you?" he chuckled and pecked your forehead.

" i love you, and I will always do. even when you're tired, i will always give you a reason to try again. "

"..i love you, Kuroo. "

"mmm."

Kuroo fixed both of your position laying down so you were hugging him whilst he still had his arm around you. Your sight got fainter and your eyelids got heavier, a deep slumber you fell into.

he looked at you with admiration and empathised you. he was hurt, he couldn't believe you had all that trauma and pain inside you that you kept to yourself for so long. but he's here now, and nothings stopping him from staying. Even though for the rest of the time you were sleeping in silence, Kuroo was there to make you feel secured, safe and loved. he truly did love you, with all his heart.

"i wish you would view yourself the way i view you." he grumbled, yawning as his eyes slowly closed. peacefully sleeping right beside each other.

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It's my finals this week so wish me luck haha, here's an update for good luck