I Miss You - McLennon AU

24.

"Mike..." Paul whimpered out, his voice hoarse as he thought what to say. "When I disappeared... I-I-... If he thought too much he would coward out. So he got to the point, thought his throat was dry as he spoke. "As soon as Ma'... Well, I just... I had this impulse to run. I had this feeling that I just had to leave as soon as I could. So I ran out of the hospital, and over to the housing estate beside... I-It was there where the- the car hit me... A-And..."

He just couldn't do it, he couldn't finish the story. Mike wouldn't believe him, nobody would believe him. It was such a foolish idea.

But Paul couldn't hold it in to himself for any longer.

The memories... They were real, and keeping them to himself was tearing Paul in half. It was breaking him.

"That was where I met John." Paul continued, still staring into Mike's intrigued eyes. He had braved on, and planned to continue, but Mike looked desperate to ask a question.

"John, did- did John find you? Once the car had... Well..." The thought of Paul in that situation was too difficult for Mike to speak of, atleast so soon.

"Not exactly." Paul replied, keeping remind himself how much he desired for somebody else to know. To not be alone in this secret. That was the only way he could physically continue to speak. "Mike, when I woke up, I wasn't... I wasn't here."

"You were at another hospital?" He asked, completely guessing. "Berkinhead? St Helens?"

"No, Mike." Paul shook his head, finally closing his eyes. He dropped his head, pushing himself a final time. "I was in Liverpool general." He didn't want to see the confusion on Mike's face at that moment, he knew it would be there. He just wanted Mike to know. "Just not here. I was in the past, Mike. The past."

Paul had fell silent after his confession, waiting for a response, but Mike didn't respond. The feeling in the air wasn't awkward, not at all. Paul guessed Mike just wanted to know more, he just didn't know how to ask.

Paul didn't blame him. How would you ask?

"1955, I went to. God fucking knows how, but I went there. The hospital room was bare and white, apart from a clock on the wall and I think a plant in the corner. The radio beside me played Frank Sinatra, and a nurse woke me up. John's aunt Mimi woke me up." Paul still had his eyes closed, Mike was still silent. "John was there when I woke up too,  not immediately, however. He ran in a few seconds after I woke."

Paul felt his heartstrings tug at the memory.

"Mimi, I got the towels!" A voice called out, maybe a bit louder than Paul had expected.

"Hush John." She scolded. "You're going to scare Paul if you yell like that."

"Oh, I'm sorry." 'John' apologised.

"When I first saw him, the first thing I noticed was his charm. As soon as he entered the room, for a few seconds he made my fear disappear. He had entered with a smile, and when he first looked at me, he still had that smile..." Paul just explained, explaining was all he could do at that point. "He wore the same uniform as you do now, except the green was darker and his trousers sagged..."

"Neither Mimi or John knew what had happened. For the first couple of days I couldn't talk about it, all I did was cry. I missed you, Da' and... And Ma'... When was ready to talk, it was John who was there. And he brought sweets."

Paul chuckled a to himself at that memory.

"Good, 'cos I got you some sweets from the shop near school." John grinned.

"Thank you, John. That was kind." Paul smiled, taking the bag of sweets from him with shaky hands.

"Thought you could do with cheerin' up too, seeing as though we can't trace your family." He sighed. "I'm sorry..."

It wasn't John's fault, it wasn't Mimi's either.

"They took me in once I was ready to leave hospital. I went in Mimi's mini, and the lack of seatbelts scared me... When I told John what had happened to me, he instantly believed me. I was terrified, like now, but John didn't have any doubts. He was there for me."

"The day I came back... It was bizarre. Two weeks later, and I'd only just started walking again. We went to a tree, in strawberry fields, and sat in the snow. We fell asleep, a-and when I woke up..."

He had tears slipping down his face.

"John?" Paul whispered out, groggily.

No response.

With a sort of agitated sigh, and wondering where John was, he opened his eyes. Slowly. He saw the grass, lots of it, and the few trees scattered around the area.

But no John.

"John?" He asked in a confused tone, his voice a normal volume. Though he felt as if he was talking to thin air.

Last time he was here, John was here. He was sure of it.

"I-It was so long ago, Mike, but I haven't forgotten a thing... I-It feels like y-yesterday." Paul spoke, his voice as shaky as ever.

He had never spoke all of this out loud. It was fulfilling, but it also hurt.

Paul had no more to say. He couldn't speak more about it even if he wanted too, it caused too much pain. He kept his eyes closed and head faced down as tears still fell.

"Paul..." Mike whispered out, gently. "I..." He waited a few seconds before he finished the sentence. "All of this... I-It is hard to comprehend..."

"I know." Paul sniffled out, raising his head finally and looking into Mike's gaze.

He looked teary-eyed.

"But... But the way you described all of this to me... I can tell that you really do have those memories, Paul." The older brother felt relief flow through him. "I know you think I won't believe you, because it really does sound bizzare." Paul chuckled fondly, Mike did a little too. "But the way you described it all felt so real, I can tell it really did come from your own memories."

Paul let out a sad smile, tears glossing his lips.

After speaking them out loud, Paul too knew that they were real. He couldn't believe that he had previously argued they weren't. He remembered John's wit, his touch, his lips. He remembered George, Ringo, Stuart and Astrid... Even that dick Pete.

There wasn't a detail Paul has forgotten, that he couldn't feel.

Because it was real, everything that happened was real.

"You- You believe me?" Paul asked, hopeful.

"Yes, Paulie. I believe you." The younger nodded.

Paul instantly jumped forward, wrapping Mike in a warm hug. He felt more tears fall down his face, soaking the younger's shirt. Mike hugged back, holding onto Paul just as tight.

Mike believed him. Some fucking how, Mike believed him.

He felt a relieved smile appear on his lips.