I Miss You - McLennon AU

11.

"John..."

But the boy couldn't hear. He continued to stare at his phone, his humming having come to an end. All Paul could do was stare at him as he continued his venture over the bridge and to the other side.

From what Paul could see this boy looked exactly like John... he was the same build, same height... He couldn't see the boy properly but what he could see... That was John.

Was he seeing things? It was stupid to think, but had touching that stuff again made his mind go... Cloudy?

John had now disappeared behind the trees, and as soon as Paul noticed this, he snapped back into reality. He was walking away, shit.

"Fuck." Paul muttered to himself, beginning to rush forwards. He scrambled up the hill, after the boy.

He didn't know what exactly he was going to do, but he had to get another glimpse of him... He couldn't lose him again.

If it was him.

Paul finally made with back onto the path, and as he continued down it a little, he could see the figure again. The boy was still walking, but now with being sheltered under some trees, his hood was down.

He had auburn hair, in the exact same style as he had done in the past. It looked so soft to touch.

It was John. It had to be John.

"John?" Paul asked out loud, not being able to stop himself before the words fell out from his lips.

The boy stopped suddenly, and Paul closely watched every move he made. Paul's eyes widened as he noticed the boy was about to turn around.

Oh my God

When he turned, he felt his heart beating almost out of his chest. It was John, it really was John. his nose, his lips... Everything. It was John, and he was here...

Paul wanted to pinch himself to see if he was dreaming, but he soon realised he couldn't move.

"Hello?" John asked, his tone one of confusion.

John's voice... God, it's as beautiful as ever

Paul finally pulled himself together at the sight of John taking out his earbuds, eventually clearing his throat. He couldn't fall apart now.

"Hi..." Paul spoke with a smile, his voice barely above a whisper. He took a few steps forward, not being able to stop staring.

He wasn't sure what to say... This was all so bizarre!

"Erm..." John soon said, placing a hand on the back of his neck, as if... Uncomfortable. Paul's smile slowly disappeared as he watched these movements. "I'm sorry if I, say, have gotten this all wrong but... I don't think I have ever seen you before. How do you know my name?"

Paul's stomach dropped.

John... No. John was here, but...

But he didn't know who Paul was?

What...?

The more Paul considered the idea, the more he felt like crying.

"I-It's me, Paul." He tried to keep his voice sounding happy, a false yet desperate smile plastered on his face, but the pain was obvious. John stood there in silence, waiting for Paul to explain. "We're... Well, we're... We were... Friends..."

John suddenly seemed even more awkward, and Paul just couldn't try and keep his voice sounding happy anymore.

He was heartbroken.

"I-I'm sorry if you have gotten me confused with someone else..." John spoke, confidently yet cautiously. "But I... Well, I do not know you... I am not your John."

Paul was speechless, completely lost for words. He didn't know how he had stopped himself from breaking down then and there, it just got more and more difficult.

Without any more words, John turned back around. He placed his earphones back into his ears, and continued his journey.

Paul stared in silence, watching as John traveled further and further away from him, cluelessly.

He felt completely broken.

-

On the walk home, Paul let the rain soak him. He didn't care anymore. John didn't know who he was. He had pinched himself, and he was not dreaming, which only made things feel even worse.

He didn't know how he had seen John, or how John was here- but he was. Somehow he was here, and Paul felt like he was going insane. It was crazy... Completely bizarre. Yet he had just seen John, here, in 2021. Dressed modern, listening to music...

He didn't want to think too much into how. It was all too difficult to comprehend and he was too stressed to even try.

But what was truly first place in his thoughts was the fact that... That John didn't remember him. John had looked at Paul like he was a lost child, like he was to be taken pity on. He had looked at Paul with concern, probably thinking he was crazy.

Paul would rather John still be in 1955 than be in 2021 and not know who he was...

But why the fuck was he here?

Paul had to stop thinking. He just had to shut off for a bit. But he couldn't even listen to music, because thinking of listening to music reminded him of how John was listening to music when he saw him again.

God, everything hurt, everything ached.

When Paul finally got home, he didn't make an effort with Mike. If Mike didn't want to listen to him or didn't trust him, then that wasn't Paul's fault. He wasn't in the mood to beg for forgiveness.

As soon as Paul got into his room, he shut the door behind him and went over to his window. The streets were silent, the rain still slamming itself onto the floor and bouncing back up. The skyline could not be seen, as the sky was completely white and Misty.

How on earth could one day have given Paul so many emotions? Fear for college, then relaxation when he was in the city, then contempt on the bus, then regret with Mike, then heartbreak with John.

God, John.

Paul felt sick, he felt dizzy... He gripped onto the windowsill infront of him to steady himself, fearing that he could fall any second. As he stared at the chipped paint, tears began to flow. Everything was too much. Everything was too painful.

He felt all of his progress of getting over John become completely useless. Here he was, longing for the boy again. For him to hold him in his arms, to kiss him...

To just say that he fucking remembered him.