I Miss You - McLennon AU

16.

7th September 2021

Throughout the whole of Paul's English lesson, he didn't listen. He just couldn't. Most of it was waffle anyway, the teacher wasn't actually teaching anything just yet.

It was safe to say that all he was thinking about was John, what lesson he was in right now, what bus did he get on to get here, how many more lessons would he have today?

He tried his best not to think of all the deep things... How John had got here, how long he had been here and Paul hadn't known, how long it was going to be before John... Left again. The thing he tried to fight off the most though was the reason to why John didn't remember him. He tried to push the thought away, but it kept fighting to return.

At one point, near the end of the lesson, Paul gave in.

Why didn't John remember him?

God, it was the number one question on Paul's mind. After all they had been through, the pain they had both clearly felt, why did John not fucking remember who Paul was?

What would Paul do? There was no way on earth Paul was going to continue as if John didn't exist. He had tried doing that in the past, for a week or two, but it didn't work. Truth was, he didn't want to forget. It was the same here, he couldn't just ignore the fact that John was here, it just wouldn't work. And if it somehow did work, it would kill Paul slowly.

He was left with only one option, an option he didn't actually dislike the idea of.

Become friends with modern John.

Yes, Paul would admit that it would be painful, having to get to know John all over again knowing everything they had been through, all while John was thinking it was the first time. But maybe befriending John could give Paul some ideas as to what had happened and why he didn't remember him. As well as even how he got here.

Not only that, but Paul had missed John so much, for the last two years, all he had wanted was to see John again. And here he was, handed to Paul on a silver platter.

Paul had a second chance, something he had not thought about the previous night. He guessed that last night he hadn't considered the fact that John was right infront of his eyes and there in general, even if not in a romantic way, as he had thought John had completely disliked him. How could he be friends with someone if they disliked him? They wouldn't talk to him...

But this morning, after hearing John's kind words, he had calmed down a lot more. He realised that he had another shot at this, because John didn't hate him.

Even if John wasn't his John, he was John... He seemed to have a different personality, but only fractions of it. If Paul was to spend more time with him, he was sure he would see more and more sparks of his John. It would be hard, with John not knowing them, but Paul would move forward. He would make friends with John, if John wanted to be friends, and he wouldn't take him for granted again. He felt certain about it.

It was safe to say that Paul and his English partner didn't make friends that day. Paul had someone else in mind the whole lesson.

-

Paul's lesson ended, and he rushed out of the doors. He hoped to find John somewhere, but he didn't actually know where he would be, or if John was to give home now. Paul had a two hour break now, then he had another lesson in the afternoon. But if that was John's first and last lesson of the day, then he would be on his way home.

Wherever in the world his home in 2021 was.

Paul immediately began to rush straight to the entrance, practically running down the corridors at one point. He figured he'd stand at the front, just to see if John was to walk past.