mute // cake

40: Lost Boy

We pulled up into Calum's driveway.

I said goodbye to my mom and closed the car door. She said she would wait until I texted her it was okay to leave. Just in case.

I rang the doorbell, hearing Calum's dog bark and run up to the door. Mrs. Hood opened the door, a smile on her face. So Calum was keeping his issues to himself.

"Luke! How nice to see you," she said. "Calum isn't home, I actually thought he might be with you."

My stomach dropped. Oh no.

"Oh, um. I came over to find him. He wasn't at school."

Mrs. Hood's smile faltered. "He skipped?"

"He picked me up, and I saw him in the morning. But... That was it. He was... He was really angry at me. But I don't know why."

Mrs. Hood nodded, seeing my mum in the car waiting. She waved. "I'm sorry, honey. But he's not home. I'll call you if he shows up, okay?"

"I will too."

I went back to the car. "He's not home."

My mum squeezed my hand. "We'll find him."

I let my head rest against the window. "I doubt it."

If Calum didn't want to be found, he wouldn't be. He's just that way. He knows where to go. He's not stupid.

Calum's so smart. He's the smartest person I know. Later on, I would see just how smart he was. Just how he could get what he wanted. And how he did.

But at the time, all I could do was worry and think the worst. Calum wasn't seen all day. I remember my second day at school, Calum wasn't there. He was on an adventure. Ashton had been worried sick that he might do something... Something bad to himself... So maybe he's on another adventure. Maybe he just needs some time.

I could accept this. I could stop throwing up in worry if he would answer my texts, or return a call. Or if he hadn't left mad at me.

Maybe it wouldn't be this bad if I wasn't in love with him.

-----

The next day, Calum didn't show up to school at all. Mrs. Hood called the police- he was officially a missing person. Mum let me go home again early. I couldn't stop crying when the police came to the school to ask around about him.

"Mum- it's all my fault," I cried.

"Shh, no it's not. This isn't your fault."

But it was. I pissed Calum off, and now he ran away. Or was kidnapped, or killed, or he killed h-

No. No. No. Calum was okay. He has to be.

But how long would this adventure last?

I spent the rest of my day in my room in one of Calum's tee shirts, listening to Green Day and crying.

-----

I really was pathetic about all this. A week had passed and we still didn't know where Calum was. That week, I was a mess. I barely ate, barely left my room. I didn't shower. Ashton and Michael came over, and I barely even talked to them. I began to see why Calum became mute- there just wasn't anything to say. You didn't decide to stop speaking, you didn't have anything to say.

I had plenty of time to think things over. Calum was hesitant to come out to his parents. And I kind of made him do it. That's one of the reasons he is mad.

Another reason. I forgot about the concert. The tickets that probably costed him a shit ton of money, connections or not. I forgot. And I told him that I forgot. That's why after the concert he changed. He came back to reality. That's the second reason.

Then, I slept in. I forgot about the tickets, I made him come out, I make him drive me everywhere and the least I can do is be ready on time. I don't blame Calum.

On the following Monday, mum was going to make me go to school again, or I was going to see a therapist.

On that Sunday night, they found Calum.