My Greatest Award (나의 제일 좋은 상)

Not Enough

Catching my breath, I bow towards the evaluators and make my way out of the evaluation room.

For some reason, this month's evaluations had kicked off with the group evaluation, and they'd put my solo evaluation as the last for the day. It definitely wasn't ideal having to perform LMLY by Jackson Wang and Coin by IU after something as energetic as Don't Fight The Feeling by EXO for our group evaluation, but I managed to pull through as I always do.

"Learn to take this seriously, Y/N. I'm really starting to reconsider my decision in choosing you for the new boy group. Whatever you're doing, it's just not enough"

Hwang's comments from a couple of minutes ago ring in my head as a step out into the dimly lit waiting room outside the evaluation room. Does everything that comes out from that woman's mouth have to be down-putting? I don't think I've heard her utter a single positive sentence. And if I'm being honest, she's not the only one who's reconsidering it. With all the messed up stuff I learned about everything months ago, I'm starting to seriously wonder if the path I'm on is one I want to submit to.

That train of thought is cut off as I exit into the hallway.

"Y/N~~"

I look up into the metallic walled hallway and I lock eyes with Lisa, who's grinning from ear to ear as she approaches me, and it's a welcome sight. Ever since her promotions for her solo ended a couple of months ago, she's seemed to be a little exhausted, whether physically or mentally I couldn't really tell. Though it's probably to be expected.

"How was it?" She stops in front of me, smile still plastered on her face. That smile never fails to make my heart melt, especially with how long it's been since I last saw it.

"Same as usual." I scratch my nape. "It's always hard to tell how I'll do after hearing the comments." I refrain from mentioning whose comments I mean, seeing as we're in an open hallway, and we're right outside the waiting room.

"Aww, don't worry. I'm sure you'll do fine. Besides, you said the same thing the last few times, and you were more than okay."

"Lisa, I probably only got straight As all those times because of the sys-" I get cut off by Lisa's hand over my mouth.

"I told you not to talk about it in public," she whispers harshly.

"When did you tell me that?" The question comes out muffled, with her hand still over my mouth.

Lisa looks off at the wall behind me, her mouth slightly open. She begrudgingly takes her hand off from my mouth.

"I just did," she mutters. I chuckle and begin to make my way to the elevator. Lisa follows next to me, fidgeting with the edge of her white crop top. She always seems to do that when she's nervous about saying or doing something. It's a habit that I've only recently picked up on, but now that I have, it's really easy to spot.

"So, Y/N," Lisa begins, in an unsure tone. Looks like I was right, then. I hum in response as I turn to look at her. Her big, sparkling eyes look back at me with what I assume to be uncertainty. "The members and I finish our schedules pretty early today, so we were gonna go out for dinner. Do you wanna come?"

I nearly stop in my tracks as our footsteps echo through the empty hallway. "Are you sure? Wouldn't it be a little weird? I mean, I have been texting Jennie and Jisoo recently, but we're not that close. Not as close as you and I are, at least."

"Don't worry, Y/N. They all like you." Lisa's mouth turns into a frown slightly as she sees my uncertainty still unwavering. "If you want, you can invite your members, too."

I think about it for a moment. Maybe that would be less awkward, since each of my roommates knows at least one of the members relatively well. Plus, I wouldn't be completely alone with the members of a huge girl group, so that would help with the awkwardness as well.