Don't Pretend

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"I think I'm gonna apply for the YG audition."

Taylor's voice rings through the kitchen as he makes his entrance, and I'm taken aback slightly by his decision - a decision which I had just come to the night before as well. It's a Saturday morning, so all of us are in the kitchen, in no rush to go anywhere in particular. My dad is reading through another morning paper, as he always does, while my mom busies herself with preparing breakfast. Taylor, not having anything to do even on weekdays other than see how long he could sit lazily in every chair or couch in the house, naturally had woken up slightly later. I'd expected him to still be rubbing sleep from his eyes, hair disheveled, but here he is, waltzing into the kitchen with his usual prideful disposition.

My mom looks up in surprise from the bamboo mat she'd been rolling kimbap in. Taylor and I had grown up eating different Korean dishes that our mom had prepared. I honestly think I prefer Korean cuisine over the usual stuff we eat here in Perth. There's just a special kick to it that doesn't really present itself in Western cuisine. It could just be because it's my mom's cooking, though.

"I'm sure you'll get it, son." My dad looks at Taylor through his reading glasses, beaming. "They'll love you. I know we do." He lets out a soft but hearty chuckle and his eyes return to the fine print of the newspaper. I roll my eyes as I gulp down the glass of water I'd been holding.

"I'm thinking of applying, too," I add with an uninterested tone. Wonder what they'll say about that. As my parents look up again, this time at me, the possibility that maybe they'd actually praise me and be proud of me crosses my mind.

"You? An idol? Shouldn't you be focusing on getting an accounting job instead?" My dad lectures blankly, crushing what hope had briefly crossed my mind.

"Y/N, we'd spent so much of our savings to put you through your degree. Why would you put all that to waste?" My mother says with a hint of disappointment. Of course, when are they not disappointed?

"Mom, Taylor went through college, too, but suddenly you're praising him for throwing his degree away while you're reprimanding me!" I retort, my pent up frustration finding its way out through my tone. My dad puts down the newspaper and stares daggers into me.

"Just because you're speaking Korean does not mean you can speak in that tone to your mother, Y/N!" He yells, voice booming. I look at him, then at my mom, then at Taylor, mouth agape as if trying to form words the whole time. Taylor is scrolling on his phone, but with a smirk on his face. Without saying another word, I storm out of the kitchen, leaving my parents free to shower Taylor with all the words I'll never hear said to me.

Entering the familiar confines of my room, I leave a text for Janet as I slump onto my bed.

I set my phone aside and decide to work on mastering the cover of Hope Not since it's been over a day since I'd last worked on it

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I set my phone aside and decide to work on mastering the cover of Hope Not since it's been over a day since I'd last worked on it. As the system boots up on my laptop, I catch myself glancing over to my phone to see if Janet has replied to my message. Seeing no notifications, I press the spacebar to begin my first listen of the entire cover for the day before the disappointment can set in. The track seems to still need a bit of tweaking with a compressor and some equalising, so I get to work, drumming my fingers on the desk barely audible with my headphones on, my eyes occasionally trailing over to my blank phone resting at the edge of my bed.

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