How to Love

Life After Death

Nyla
I was just seconds a way from having a panic attack right now. I'm back in this hospital, the same hospital that my mama died in hours ago. The fact that I know her body is still somewhere in the building lifeless is killing me! I thought that coming with Nathan would be better than staying at home alone, but I didn't know we were going to stay here!

I thought that we was just dropping them off and then going back to my house. I would give anything to be under my sheets with him right now. All warm and protected. I would feel like the worst person ever to make him leave because of me. He clearly wants to be here when this baby is born.

Speaking of this baby!

I can't believe poor Austin got this girl pregnant. I don't care how much she has 'changed' the Casey I've known is a follower and a bitch. I'm not shocked that she jumped Nathan just because Charlotte said so. She'll do anything for the approval of others and I'll never trust her because of that. She treats people the way others tell her to. She just moves weird. I'm sure she's only being nice to Nathan because she's seeking approval from Austin. I'm also sure that she's only seeking approval from him because she don't want to be a single mother.

She bullied and hated on this one girl so bad that she nearly harmed herself. When she was asked why she was mean to her all she could say is because of things she heard about her. She never got to know the girl herself, she just listened to others.

Hopefully this baby is able to actually think for herself and have her own opinion. There's hope for this baby. She'll have Austin and Nathan in her life. I just hope her mama don't start seeking random people approval and turn on Austin.

We've been here for over 4 hours. The doctor said that the baby is coming today for sure. So far she is 4 centimeters dilated and I'm over it.

I don't feel comfortable here. I honestly feel sick to my stomach knowing my mamas body is somewhere here. We didn't have a good relationship with each other, but after hearing everything I've ever wanted to hear from her I can't stop crying. I went almost two decades without any type of affection from her to her finally admitting her wrongs and saying she loves me.

My skin was crawling from how bad I wanted to leave this place. It smelt like...well like a hospital. I can't really describe how a hospital smell but we've all smelt one. It was cold, freezing even. The chairs felt worse then the floor.

The only reason I'm here is for Nathan. It means everything to me that he has been there for me all day. Even when my nose was all snotty from crying so much, and I know how much he hate germs.

He's been trying so hard to get back on my good side and honestly he's there. He's been there, I just needed time to stop being angry at him. I don't like the situation, hell if I think about it long enough I get upset again, but I get how he ended up in it.

Nathan is nice, too nice, and she took advantage of it. I'm making it my personal goal to make him a little more mean to those that deserves it. I don't expect him to be cussing bitches out but to know when you're being played with.

Right now Nathan was sitting next to me rubbing my hand. He can't seem to keep his hands off me and I don't mind it. He looks over at me as he does it to make sure it's okay before he relaxes. He's still kinda walking on eggshells around me. I think it's cute.

"I'm cold" I said, making him look over at me.

"Do you want me to get you a cover? I know where the good ones are" he said, standing up.

"You don't have to I-"

"I got you, do you two want one?" He asked Austin and Casey. I was getting ready to say that I just wanted to lay on him, but okay.