Why Are You Here? (RWBY Red Vs. Blue Crossover)

Da Bomb!

Things stirred at Valhalla outpost red base. They'd just arrived to get their stuff before they left for Blood Gulch. the blues and Carolina were at Blue Base, and The Reds and Doc were at Red Base.

"Grif?!" Sarge called

"What do you want?"

"Get Simmons, I have an idea!"

"An idea? I'm already afraid."

"Shut up dirtbag. Get Simmons." Grif shuffled into the base.

"Simmons?! Simmons?!?!"

"What do you want Grif?! Can't you see I'm busy?" Simmons said as he read the Red Army Handbook.

"Your reading a book, that's hardly busy."

"Shut up, you've probably never read a book in your life."

"Yes I have."

"And what would that be?"

"Um..."

"Exactly."

"Shut up, Sarge wants you."

"Oh, okay why didn't you just say that?" Simmons said, Grif just looked at him. The two walked outside to find Sarge working on a bomb.

"My god please don't tell me he talks." Grif shouted.

"Shut up Grif." Sarge said.

"Yeah! Shut up you dirty shisno!" The bomb shouted.

"My god, it's blood gulch all over again." Simmons complained. Sarge growled.
"And those are all good memories I'm getting sir!"

"Men, this is a bomb that will eradicate the Blues!"

"Why? We made up, there's no reason to fight anymore." Simmons replied.

"My god Simmons, they've turned you too! I can't believe you'd fall for such traitorism!"

"Sir, first of all its treason, second of all I'm just stating facts."

"We must detonate this bomb, and destroy these blues! Doc?" Sarge said, Doc came running.

"Yes? Who's hurt?"

"No one, we want you to grab this bomb..."

"Excuse me? I'm a pacifist, a bomb is completely against my beliefs."

"Oh yeah?" The bomb said obnoxiously, "half the things I did to your mom last night are against your beliefs too. ZING!"

"Oh god... it's you." Doc winced.

"Yeah bitch it's me, Andrew D. Kaboom II."

"What are you doing here? I thought you blew up to kill Tex."

"I rebuilt him to kill the Blues, and we're going to have you take it to..."

"How many times do I have to explain to you?! I. AM. NEUTRAL. I'm not red or blue."

"Do you want to die in the explosion or later after the explosion?"

"Um... after?"

"Then take this bomb over there!"

"Fine." Doc put his sensor on his pistol carrier and lifted the bomb. he walked over to the warthog, and set it in the passenger side.

"Why didn't I think of that?!" Sarge shouted.

"Because you don't think." Grif said.

"Grif, shut your trap."

"Yeah Grif!" Simmons cut in.