start over | dreamwastaken x reader (sequel to split)

{ BONUS } FIRST TIME

My hand holds tightly to the covenant red party cup everyone knows and loves. The luke warm contents inside have already sent me spiraling. I'm not drunk but I can feel the buzz that's beginning to take over my senses. I feel light, oddly.

My pain floats away with every painstaking sip I take of the alcohol. I don't like the taste. Honestly, I fucking hate alcohol. Told myself I would never take a sip but here I am...

Clay's stood behind me leaned against a wall with me leaned back against him. My back is flush to his chest. From any outsider that didn't know us, we were the hottest couple around. The couple who were grossly attached at the hip twenty-four-fucking-seven.

"Had enough alcohol yet?" Clay whispers in my ear. The heat of his breath perks my hair to it's ends as shivers flash over my body. His tone is sensual and if I hadn't known any better I'd think he's had alcohol as well. But he doesn't drink. And never will.

You see, the only reason Clay's thrown a party at his place is because my now ex broke up with me. As much as I'd rather him, me, and a giant bowl of ice cream. Clay wouldn't let me settle for a pity party. He wanted to see me, loose... free.

I shake my head side to side. But it's a lie. The taste is stomach churning and if I take one more sip I might vomit off taste alone.

"Suuure." He chuckles in my ear and I fight off the feelings that have always simmered inside me. The feelings of love, being in love. Because I could never love my best friend. Most of the time when best friends fall in love, someone gets hurt, and you lose them forever. I couldn't lose Clay. That wasn't an option I had. I swallowed down that real love and accepted the friendship love.

My face flushes red as I'm caught in my lie. The heat doesn't just sit on my cheeks. It travels. My whole body flooding with embarrassment. Or was it the alcohol?

Clay's arms that have been draped over my shoulders since the moment we ended up in this position tighten a little. His muscles tense, and again I have to swallow down the sexual feelings raising to the surface. The love feelings.

"Someone's getting a little drunk." Clay whispers as the heat of my body begins to radiate off onto him. That only intensifies the heat. Can he seriously just stop? I need a minute.

I huff.

Clay chuckles in return and I glance up to see the smile that falls across his lips. I stare at the details of his smile. I'm staring, like actually just staring at his lips, like nothing else in the world even exists.

My actions, I assume, only cause him to smile more. God, I love his fucking smile. He turns me in his arms and drops his hands down to my waist before letting them slide to the small of my back. His hands lock together as he pulls me flush against him again.

"Aps." He smirks after my nickname leaves his mouth. Aps. Apple of my eye. It's the nickname Clay gave me right after my parents passed. I wouldn't let anyone call me by the name my parents gave me. It hurt too much. So Aps just happened one day, and it stuck.

No one understood the meaning behind the nickname besides him and I. It made it more important. More special. If anyone even tried to take the name he... bugged. He lost it. I was the apple of his eye and no one else's. Apples connected us, no one else. He was possessive of me. And I wanted him to be exactly like that.

"Do I have something in my teeth or something?" Clay let's a chuckle fall past his lips as I sheepishly look away from him.

"No." I say softly, placing my red cup on the shelf beside us. I want nothing more to do with any alcohol. It's already taken over my mind too much. I can't fight off my normal feelings and that's scary.