start over | dreamwastaken x reader (sequel to split)

14 | FEELINGS UNEXPRESSED

Clay leaves the room and I'm left with Karl again. The world goes quiet while my mind runs wild. I'm honestly silent as I sit back at my computer with Karl. He's on his phone so I'm assuming he's completely tuned out the commotion that Clay and I seemingly always cause.

I type to Karl which causes him to pull his headset back over his ears. This boy is too polite and kind. He is a right gift from god and deserves nothing less than the world.

"Everything good?" He asks as he sets his phone back to his desk.

"Just peachy." I sigh as I drop heavily back against my chair. Absolutely exhaustion filling my body. Fighting always takes everything I have left in me out. It's like sleep pounds into my head calling for the bed I never enter.

"You good Karl?" I smile at the boy who always has jokes waiting to make the world happy. To fill the world with a joy so masterful that it saves lives.

"As good as one can be." He picks his phone up distracted by his ever busy life.

"I'll let you go you busy boy. Thanks for being there for me always. I'm glad we've connected since my return. I couldn't ask for a better friend Karl Jacobs."

Our conversation ends there as the discord call goes mute. My world falls quiet again. The only way to not go wild with the thoughts running through my mind is to do what I do best and retreat to the world of the Dream Team.

Clay has made his way back to his friends in the living room and I can hear their conversations blooming as I make my way down the hall. The three of them are all sat on the same couch talking about whatever they've just watched on the tv.

"Hey babe." Clay's eyes shoot to me as I enter the room.

Patches jumps from George's arms and runs in between my legs rubbing herself against the surface of my calves. I squat down and run my hand down her back a few times before crawling up in Clay's arms.

Touch. That's how you forget. Numb it out with new thoughts.  New adventures. There is no reason to focus on the past when you can't change what's already happened. You can only live with it and move forward. That's the point of this fresh start to reset on life.

"How is it that you return and you get all of Patches love? It's like her world revolves around you." Nick ask as he types away on his phone.

"Because we are the only girls in the house. She can only relate to me." I shrug my shoulders as I trace circles on Clay's forearm. It's the little touches. It's always the little touches.

The boys go back to their conversation. Talking about random nonsense while I get lost in my mind. I'm traveling to deep depths. Places I don't want to. Places that are so dark I can feel them engulfing me whole. I'm not just slipping, I'm falling. Falling fast.

My phone buzzing in my pocket pulls me from the depths. It's like someone has his the reverse button on life and I'm racing up and out of the hole. I feel like my phone hasn't gotten a notification in days. My friends are here, with me. I don't have anyone else I need to talk to really. I mean yeah there is Karl and the rest of the guy's friends. But I only talk with them when I'm sat on my computer, or Clay's. That's it.

I look at the name across my screen and I can feel Clay doing the same over my shoulder. "I need to take this." I get up off his lap and disappear into the kitchen. I don't want to go far but I don't want to interrupt the conversation they've been divulged in.

"Hey, how's the store been?" I smile as my old bosses voice follows mine.

"It's been struggling without you. I miss your help more than you know." It hurt me to know that I caused pain for someone. I made someone else suffer and I didn't like that. But I also had to do what was right for me. This was my life and I had to put myself first. I mean... I guess I really just put Clay first. But you get the point.