start over | dreamwastaken x reader (sequel to split)

27 | BOOTY CALL

"George?" I turn in the front seat and look back at George who has his face buried into his phone. I don't pull his focus right away but after a few seconds he looks up replying with a response for me to say what I need to say. His accent still as strong as ever. I swear it's got to be the most comforting voice I know.

"Thanks for coming with us." I smile at him. "You've been the only one to really know about any of this. How important it is to me. Has Clay really never taken you?" I quickly glance towards Clay before directing my attention back to George.

"We almost did once." George admits. "It was one of the first days I got here. Clay was a fucking mess. Nothing could console him. And you know I don't do well with emotions so I kind of just... froze." George looks at Clay for a second, but I don't follow his glance. I can't only assume that Clay is looking at us. Listening intently to every word that we say.

"He irrationally got Nick to drive us to the cemetery but couldn't find it in him to face your parents. At least not on that day. Not with all of us there." George admits a truth that I've always wondered. Had Clay taken anyone? Had he visited them... alone?

"Clay you went alone?" I reach for his hand that's rested against the shifter in between us.

"After seeing you get on the bus. I went straight to them. I apologized over and over to them. Told them I'd find you again. That I would keep you safe again." Clay says so nonchalantly that it stings a little. This is important. He found comfort in my parents just as I had done with his.

"And you kept your promise." I reply to his statements low. I feel like I'm tiptoeing on thin glass waiting to see if it will eventually break. I can't have it break. Not today, not ever.

"Always do. Even if it doesn't seem like it. I come back around. I'm stubborn." Clay shrugs and slides his hand out from under mine.

I instantly feel the rip in my heart at the loss of touch. But he quickly returns his touch back to me. He places his hand on top of mine and laces our fingers together. This is comfort. This is safety. He didn't let my parents down. He never would. Even if he had hurt me. Left me for dead. He got me through the hardest years of my life. My parents would always be grateful for that.

The car comes to a stop and I see Nick's car do the same behind ours. I guess it was now or never. We were going to so see two people that left the earth way too soon. But sometimes I'm kind of glad that they had. Because I wouldn't be who I was right now without them being gone so soon.

Maybe if they had left I wouldn't be like this with Clay. Maybe I would have had other friends. Loved other people. Moved on from what him and I had created. I could have been moved. My parents didn't have roots anywhere. They could have picked up and moved and Clay and I would have been finished.

As complicated as life has been, I wouldn't have picked a better life for myself. Because any other life might not have gotten me to this moment. A life full of love and support from the greatest group of people in the world. Life was life because of my friends. I was here... because of them.

As I step out of the car, a flower just at the edge of side of the road has begun to bloom so I pick the flower from the stem and hold it close to my chest as I round the car to meet Clay and George.

"Cute."  Clay says as he grabs my hand to walk up to the headstones. The two little rocks marking my parent's graves.

"George?" I look at him as Nick walks over with Karl and Alex following him. "Would you mind if just you, Clay and I walked up alone first? If not, that's fine." I look at the ground instantly regretting my question. It's a stupid question. I don't need him to come up there alone. This is all stupid. It's not like he's actually meeting my parents anyways.