1 Producer, 7 Idols, 1 Grammy to Capture!
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When Lily, a passionate music producer and songwriter, is contracted to work on a special project for BH, her inner dialogue reveals a different passion just boiling under the surface.
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When I'm finally able to pull myself together enough to at least exist on autopilot, Hobi helps me pack up, and all the guys help tidy the cottage so it's in good shape for the owner. They're quiet and thoughtful, being careful of my fragile state.
When we leave, Jimin and Tae gently place me in the middle of them in the backseat. I appreciate that they are trying to build a fortress of caring around me, but it also makes me feel a bit pathetic. I want to be stronger than all of this, but I feel worse for the wear, in all honesty.
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Hobi drives, with Joon sitting in the passenger side, and we start on our journey back home. The day has taken a toll on all of us, and we sit listening to the wheels of the SUV hum against the pavement. I feel dead inside, and random tears roll down my cheeks occasionally. Jimin laces his fingers through mine, trying to provide me some comfort, and on the other side of me, Tae loops his elbow through mine as we drive in silence.
My mind keeps flashing back to Yoongi making love to me this morning and telling him I loved him. He knew that entire time what was unfolding online and never let on. He just let me go the whole morning in ignorance. I feel betrayed, but mostly I feel like a fool for so easily giving my heart over to someone who seemingly didn't understand me at all.
I try to take a deep breath, but it is audibly labored, skipping across my chest. Joon turns, reaches back with a long arm and gives my knee a quick squeeze. He gives me a smile, but I see the pity he's trying to mask. I force a small smile in appreciation for his effort before he focuses his eyes back on the road unfolding in front of us.
Already having been told the plan for our journey, I'm not surprised when we stop half an hour outside of the city on a quiet side road where a car is waiting for me to switch into. Tae and Jimin help move my things to the trunk of the other car, and I slide out, placing my feet on the pavement; stretching, I feel the heavy stress on my shoulders.
Joon approaches and envelopes me in his arms, my head buried into his chest. He holds onto me tightly like he's trying to squeeze all the terrible events of the day out of my system for me. I hang onto him for a long time, and then I pull him to lean down so I can place a kiss on his cheek. "Thank you for everything," I whisper, and he squeezes me with a deep sadness reflecting in his eyes.
