1 Producer, 7 Idols, 1 Grammy to Capture!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
When Lily, a passionate music producer and songwriter, is contracted to work on a special project for BH, her inner dialogue reveals a different passion just boiling under the surface.
...
After a bit of back and forth with Sejin and the company, we refined my contract. They agree to have their staff move the contents of my studio into their facility and provide me with a working space. I am pleased they already have a studio I can set up camp in, and I also negotiate a small sound booth to be tucked into the corner of my space. I know they have their own main setup, but I want to be able to capture members singing on a whim anytime without having to move from space to space.
The contract has a serious NDA attached to protect the members and Big Hit's creative process. One item line that strikes me is that I am to agree that I keep my relationship with each of the seven members professional. In layman's terms, I know they are basically telling me I cannot hit on any of the members or make them feel uncomfortable, and the fact that I'm reading it in black and white makes me blush. I would never do that, but I feel embarrassed with myself for having some attraction during our initial interactions that I keep trying to ignore.
Hoppla! Dieses Bild entspricht nicht unseren inhaltlichen Richtlinien. Um mit dem Veröffentlichen fortfahren zu können, entferne es bitte oder lade ein anderes Bild hoch.
Sung-Ho sets up a time for the movers to come and move my things by the end of the week. I pack up everything and sigh. He's pleased with my decision and tells me I should take a few days off before starting next week in my new temporary home. We both know there will be months of long days ahead of me. Even during typical contracts, taking time off is rare, so I take him up on his suggestion to recharge before I start on my new venture.
I go home that night and look around my tiny studio apartment. It is a safe haven like my studio. My records and books line the wall around the TV I barely have time to watch, and everything stays neatly in place because I don't spend enough time here to really make a mess.
I pour myself a glass of wine and let it sit while I use my crutches to go into the bathroom. I take a long, hard look at myself in the mirror and try to appreciate the face staring back at me. I am struggling with my insecurities after being in such close proximity to those men who were the picture of perfection. It makes me doubt my own looks, and I muse that I exist as an unkempt version of myself in most moments.
I try to shake off the insecurity as I make my way into a hot steamy shower, taking my time to shave and make my skin silky smooth. I spend time buffing my skin as I am compelled to employ my own version of self-care this evening. I just want to feel pretty, even if it is for a split second, and it is rare that I make any time to take care of myself.
After drying up with a fluffy towel, I slip on my silky white robe and apply lotion to every part of my body.
My mind drifts to Jungkook and Yoongi, and I wonder how I am going to dampen down my attraction for them. Even when I'm rubbing lotion on myself, I wonder what it would be like to be touched by someone so attractive.
After applying the most luxurious facial cream I have on hand, I hobble into the kitchen to retrieve my glass of wine. Setting my crutches aside, I push myself to slowly walk without their aid while grabbing things to support me.
