The Passion Parameter - Vol. II

【80】Behind the Painting

"When I began working for Avoss, I was in a very bad place. This hacking thing started with me getting back at some jerk who thought himself untouchable. It was a small thing, just hacking into the offshore account he gloated about and emptying it. The satisfaction it brought, taking from this prick and handing it to the very people he denigrated, helped with what I'd been going through. From that point forward, it grew bigger and bigger. It was my solace from working in this spiteful environment, from the disillusion that this world wasn't what it should be."

"I think I unconsciously wanted to get caught. It not only meant I would tarnish my family's reputation, but it would also show everyone what this freak they couldn't care to respect could do. I had nothing to lose, so I didn't care. But at the same time, there was this pride every time I remained untouched after a big hit. It became a thrilling game of how far I could go before I was found out. Turns out I could go much further than anyone before. Some of the things I did were never reported in the media. But there wasn't a single government server I didn't get into. I found CIA coverups, government's dirty secrets, NSA's mishaps... I took stolen money from the richest, compiled files on the scummiest of the elite... There were no limits to what I was willing to try."

Lex paused, his brows twitching as he tried to think of what to say next. It gave me enough time to process his words, stunned to be sitting here, learning all this while he was being taken away at this very moment. His desire to be caught had finally come, but the timing couldn't have been worse.

"Kevin was the one who made me stop. Kelex was growing, and he told me I could either help people the legal way with him, or continue whatever I was doing, but alone. I was in a much better place, so I accepted his deal and put all of this behind me. If they couldn't catch me while I was doing this, they wouldn't catch me when I stopped. I followed Kev's conditions and didn't touch any of this for a solid four years. The only time I was tempted to dive back into it was for you, Andrea."

Puzzled, I wiped my tears with a frown, wondering how on earth had I made him go back into this world. "When Kate had this problem with her ex, you were so devastated and affected, I thought I could do this for you, to give you a sense of justice. So I watched as Oli helped, and then came in and completed the job. I found the man's dirty secrets and exposed him to Portland's Cyber. I didn't sign anything as Nammota; I didn't need to. I wasn't doing any of it for the thrill, I was doing it for you."

Oh, my God... I'd always thought Oli had been the one getting Stefano arrested, but Lex was the reason for it. Like a watchful guardian angel, he'd swooped in and had gotten a sex offender convicted.

"Anyhow, when we came back from your parent's place, someone tipped me that Homeland's Cyber Security had reopened the Nammota case. It only takes one filthy rich asshole with hands in the right pockets to make that happen, and I've angered a lot of those. I've been looking into that ever since I dropped you at your place, but I can't find much, so this is just going to be a dead-end for them, like all their investigations years ago. I'm not worried about what might happen from it, but still, I wanted to prepare this in case I'm wrong and they find out it's me."

"I'm sorry I never told you any of this, Andrea. Trust me when I say I would if I could. But if you knew any of that, it would make you an accessory to a crime. I refuse to put you in a position where you either do the good thing and denounce me or keep it secret and risk getting in trouble if I ever fall. I love you too much for that."

There it was. His reason not to tell me. Of course, he'd only had my own sake in mind, but I still wanted to have known. I wouldn't have loved him any less had I been aware of this part of him. And lying for him had to be the easiest thing I could think of.

Lex sighed on screen, shaking his head. "So, all of this might be for nothing but I-"

"Andrea has exited the elevator," Mary's voice interrupted him, cutting short whatever he was about to say. The way his face lit up, the happiness that filled his face at the mention of me being so close tore my heart in two. He loved me so fucking much... Once more, I couldn't believe all of this was really happening.