Requested by the lovely @ur_new_demon!! <3
Anyways, this is obviously a joke and there is an unholy amount of cursing a gay shit in this so beware!! Also sex jokes so yeah. My sense of humor has just HDOUWBJnsjkajj And yes I did make that beautiful masterpiece you see up there and yes, that is me hehe
Also not my classmate saying that I'm obviously not a wattpad kid and me just nervously chuckling like YEAH TOTALLY NOT HAHHHA
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I walked through the door's of the Mega PizzaPlex, immediately seeing a SeXy aSS woman. Like damn! Look at those short blue locks that look like pizza grease was dumped on it and that clothing style MMMmMM!! Looks like a homeless man walked into the facility. Honestly, I wouldn't be surprised if she WAS a homeless person. After reading so many fucking fanfictions of fictional characters and pretending to be in a relationship with them, my standards for real life people have dropped so low and this mf be looking FiNE!!
I stride towards her, knowing damn well if this was real life I wouldn't have the balls to even walk in her general vicinity. I stop in front of her, donning the fuckboy face. "Damn girl, you be looking like a sexy motorcycle if I do say so myself!" I inform her, making her smirk like a fucking gremlin. Now that's fucking hAWT! "You look like a roasted turkey yourself," She flirted??? I feel threatened, but that's also sexy so let's go with it! "Wanna smooch shawty???" She asked with that seXY gremlin smirk.
"Fuck yeah man!!" I exclaimed. We started smooching, lips elongated. Our smexy time was cut off by a long exaggerated gasp, causing us to quickly separate. Standing in the doorway was a HOT, and when I say hot I mean HAWWWT, girl with long blonde hair and glasses. She was wearing a purple hoodie and ripped jeans, looking very gay and very offended. "MI PITO!! HOW COULD YOU CHEAT ON MEEE!?!" She questions, a single tear running down her cheek. "Mi pito! I'm sorry.............wanna join?"
Silence, and then- "HELL YEAH!!" She began running over, smooching me as well. Damn, I thought this was an Author x Reader, but I guess I got bitches now. As we all smooched, we got interrupted again. Who the fuck is this cockblock??!? And there he stood SeXiLy on the stairs, gayness practically leaking from his body. "Mis PUTAS??" He questioned, tipping his gay foldable ray-bans. Damn that fluffy black hair tho and emo ass sense of fashion MMMmM!!
He crab walked over to us inhumanly quickly, the cracking of literally all his bones being heard. He stopped beside me, rising in (again) an inhuman way before kissing my cheek with a high-pitched 'MWAH!!'. Damn, I really do got BITCHES!! We then performed the act of child creating.
And that's how I met your mothers and father.
