Under The Influence

Time And A Place

"I'm okay, and you?" She asks then she gets up from her desk and walks over to the chair and she has a seat.

"I'm Aight." I say

"That's good to hear." She says, "I figured you would call me in for an emergency session."

"Yeah, I had a rough day yesterday. I know you've heard about what I'm going through." I say

I watch her as she watches me remove my jacket.

"Yes. I just want to make sure I'm available when you need me." She smiles, "I was expecting it."

I sigh, "I'm happy we can still keep this professional after the last two sessions, because I'm really going through it today." I admit

"Of course. Dick doesn't move me. I'm focused. So what's going on?" He asks

"Okay..." I take a deep breath, "I went over to their house with a gun yesterday and I'm not sure about what I was going to do with it, but I did it and I'm not proud of that. I completely lost it."

"Did you black out?"

"No. I remember everything. My guy Trey tried to talk me out of it. I gave him the gun but when we got to his house the security guard was kissing me off by not letting me in, so I pulled the gun on him." I explain

"And what did that do for you?" She asks

"Nothing. I didn't even do anything with it. Trey got so pissed at me. He didn't want me to do anything because he knows I'm always in some type of trouble with the police and the majority of the time he's the one who gets me out of it. He kept yelling if something happened he couldn't get me out of it. He couldn't say it was him if there were cameras. I didn't listen though. I let my feelings get the best of me."

"He's a good friend." She says

"He definitely is. I can do I'm a good friend to him though. We both have our own lives and he had a family. Well, he has a daughter and a baby mama that he lives with. This happened about a year after I met her. He just doesn't come around as much as he used to. He's the one that introduced Shawnie to me. He loves her and sometimes I feel like he takes her side over mine. So I get mad so him and I don't talk to him."

"Is he taking her side with all of this going on?" She asks

"No. He doesn't even know half of the stuff that's been going on between us. Pretty much the last year he's been MIA and I guess when he heard all of the shit that was going on between her and I he decided to make an appearance. Great timing too. Trey is always my voice of reason."

"He's someone you should keep around regardless if he agrees with you or not. He's a good person to you and you need people like that around you." She says, "So tell me where the anger came from yesterday."

"I was so confused as to why she would even do this interview and say all of the things she said." I say

"I watched the interview. Obviously because you're my patient and she was trying to hurt you. It was one thing for them to talk about him, their relationship and what they had going on, but the interview was based on your relationship with her. It wasn't meant for anything else. I just want you to understand that."

"I know that now. I didn't even know it was happening. My mom called me to tell me the time on the show. I was surprised as hell." I say shaking my head, remembering.

"So talk to me about what you're feeling, you seem triggered right now." She says

"I'm mad as hell. I feel like she turned on me. I feel like she doesn't care about me anymore. I feel like all she's trying to do is erase what we had. I was the only thing concrete in her life, besides her fam. She completed me. I loved her. I thought about her every second of my day. But lets be honest, I fucked this up from the beginning. I was really trying to man up and be with only her but I just kept fucking with other bitches. I tried to be faithful, but I'm Chris Brown. I couldn't. I tried. And I lied about having a baby... I just fucked up on so many levels and I regret it. I regret everything. Now she's supposed to be moving to Canada, with that bitchass nigga, and my stupid ass said it was okay for her to take my daughter with her." I shake my head. I'm so disappointed in myself.