𝗰𝘂𝘁! minsung

21: you'd better improve

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LEE MINHO.

When my father picks me up, my face is still flushed with embarrassment. I pray to everything under the sun that he doesn't interrogate me; telling him that I just made out with Jisung in front of a whole room of people will only make my craving of a sudden death more intense.

I open the door to the front seat, going to greet him, but the expression on my father's face isn't his usual gentle smile. I gulp nervously as I'm met with a piercing glare, making sure to not slam the door as I get into my seat, in case it makes him more angry than he already seems to be.

As soon as I shut the door, he sighs loudly and begins the drive home. We sit in silence for ten agonizing minutes, before he finally speaks.

"I'm very disappointed in you right now Minho." He says finally, and I let out a breath I didn't know I'd been holding.

"May I ask... why?" I respond tentatively, unsure what the right approach to such a conversation is, as my father is rarely ever disappointed in me.

"Well. I'm sure you're well aware that your attitude towards your co-star during the filming of this drama hasn't been nearly satisfactory. In fact, Jinki had to take time out of his busy schedule this afternoon to notify me of your poor behavior."

"Oh."

I hold back my tears at the tone of his voice. This is one of the only times he's ever properly sounded mad at me. I hate whatever this foreign feeling is. 

I could just let myself cry, because knowing my father he'd melt in an instant and take back everything he's just said. There'd be no more harsh words, no more uncomfortable pauses and no reason to feel so dejected.

But I hold myself back, because deep down I know I deserve it. I deserve to be hearing this, really, after how I've acted. After how I continue to act, while I refuse to admit the reason I'm so adamant on destroying every aspect of friendliness between Jisung and I.

"I'm sorry, Dad." I say, trying and failing to hide the waver of emotion in my voice.

He sighs again, reaching out to take my hand as he rubs his thumb over mine in a comforting manner. 

"Thank you. You know I hate telling you off, but this really isn't like you Minho. I was shocked when I heard the sort of things you've been saying. Did Jisung do something to upset you?"

At that, I bite down on my tongue hard to stop myself from revealing it all right then and there. Because god, it would be so easy right now to just tell him everything, about my internal war.

But I don't. I continue to bite my tongue as I shake my head. I refuse to let the tears fall as he tells me everything will be okay, and that he believes I can improve.

The only thing is, I really don't know if I can fix what I've been so intent on staying broken.

HAN JISUNG.

I stand outside the company building, pent up frustration from Minho's words refusing to dissipate no matter how hard I try to think about something else.

To my utmost horror, my mother's car pulls up beside me.

She rolls down the window and I gulp in terror at the brooding expression she wears.

"Get in."

I don't even try to argue, hurrying into the backseat for fear of facing her if I sit in the front. She drives off a little faster than usual, still under the limit but enough to let me know she's pissed off.

"Han Jisung."

"...Yes?"

"What is this I'm hearing from your director about you refusing to get along with your co-star? Do you realize, you are working with the son of Lee Taemin. Do you even comprehend how lucky you are?

I snap at that, suddenly erasing all thought of consequences from my mind as I respond indignantly.

"That's all you care about? That he's famous? You don't even care to ask why, don't even consider that I might have a good reason to not want to be friendly with him? Wow, thanks for being on my side mom."

She looks offended, but I don't care.

I'm sick of never being good enough for her.

"Jisung, you know that's not what I mea-"

She tries to explain but I don't let her finish.

"Do I? How do you think I feel, constantly being compared to and made to compete with Jeongin because if I'm not successful then I may as well be worth nothing, right? And now instead of even bothering to check whether I'm okay, you attack me for being standoffish to someone who's treated me like crap since the day we met, because all you really care about is the fact that he's famous. It hurts, Mom."

My voice breaks, so I give up on trying to get any more word vomit out.

My mother wears an unreadable expression as she pulls over to the side of the road. 

I've really done it this time.

But instead of turning around to yell at me, she hops out of the driver's seat and walks around to join me in the backseat.

"Baby? I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." She whispers softly, and that's all it takes for me to collapse into her arms.

As she runs her fingers gently through my hair, I realize that maybe she does care more than she lets on.

But I still have a huge obstacle to face with Minho if she's going to be on my case about us getting along.

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🌸

sooo i bought two albums the last week when i went into the city....

nct's universe and enhypen's border: carnival !!

AND I PULLED SUNOO TWICE?! LIKE HE'S MY ULT ULT ULT HOW- IN MY FIRST ENHA ALBUM TOO?!

AND THENNNN 

I NOT ONLY GOT A KUN POSTCARD I ALSO PULLED KUN FOR THE PHOTOCARD?!?!?! MY LUCK GUYS AKKSLDKSL 

and i also got one of my nct biases (xiaojun) for the sticker sheet hehe

twas a pretty good night, opening those two :D

anyways, school has started back today so i'm going to try and update every monday + friday :) we're just over halfway through this story! i'd say most of the angst is over but...i make no promises >:)

i hope you've all had an amazing winter break (for those like me who are going back to school) and for my readers in the northern hemisphere - i hope you guys are having an amazing summer! <33