The Way Back (Champions of the Crystal Book 4)

Chapter 20: Resolution

"And so much joy," she reminded him. "You said so yourself. Don't regret knowing us, Tirqwin. We don't regret knowing you. And I am positive that, even at the last moment, Scotty did not regret what he did on Stanos."

"That I can believe," he murmured.

Into the silence that followed came a small chime. Sabrina's head snapped up to look at Tirqwin, her face going white. Ford squeezed her arm gently as Tirqwin cleared his throat once, then twice. "Onscreen, Khediva, please."

Dr. Renkayta's face appeared. She looked exhausted, and paused a moment before speaking. Sabrina thought she would spontaneously combust if she had to wait a moment longer, but her closed throat wouldn't let her get any words out. It was Ford who finally said, "How is he, Doctor?"

"The download appears to be a success," she said. "We believe he absorbed about seventy percent of the extant memories, more than we expected. There appears to be no physical damage to his brain as a result of the procedure. However, there are complications."

Sabrina felt her heart drop sickeningly and was vaguely surprised that her legs continued to hold her upright. Beside her, she heard Tirqwin draw an agonized breath, and Ford moved closer, so that he was actually pressing slightly against her back.

Renkayta continued, "He has not, so far, been able to process the memories in any orderly way, or store them in his memory for directed retrieval. They are randomly occurring in his consciousness, with much the same effect as hallucinations. None of our mental discipline techniques are helping. We are hoping that an anchor, something familiar to him, will give him a starting point to order the memories."

"That would be Sabrina," Ford said.

"Yes. But be prepared. He does not appear to remain in any given memory for more than a few moments, and he has not so far seemed to have any lucid moments in the present. Do not expect to communicate with him directly. Simply let him see you and hear your voice. And most importantly, you must be calm, so that he can perceive you as something safe. Come when you are ready."

Sabrina nodded. "I'll be right there," she managed to whisper. As the screen faded, she stared at the deckplates and tried to slow her breathing. "He's insane, isn't he? That's what it really means."

"He is lost, Sabrina," Tirqwin said hoarsely. "But he may yet find a way back. Maybe you can lead him." He paused. "We have to try."

"Of course we have to try," she said. She took another deep breath. "Okay. I'm ready."

Ford took her chin in his hand and scrutinized her, then wiped the tearstains from her cheeks and gave her an encouraging smile. "We'll be right on the other side of the observation panel, Sabrina."

I wish Mara was here, she thought as she turned toward the upper corner of the control deck.

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Scotty must have been violent at some point; they had him in restraints, she saw immediately. That should not have surprised her, since many of his memories must be violent ones, but it hurt her to see.

"Scotty," she said, and did not recognize her own voice. She took a moment, cleared her throat, and tried again. "Scotty, it's me. Sabrina. I'm here."

The look he gave her made her heart leap for a moment, then fall again when the suspicion and calculation in his eyes—foreign to the Scotty who'd lacked memories—did not give way to recognition. "How can you be?" he demanded, frowning. "You and Cynthia went to Maine to get out of the heat. I got your postcard right before I left."

"That was years ago, Scotty," she said, dismayed to find she couldn't pinpoint how many. She and Cynthia had gone to Maine in the summers a couple of times, just to get away from their hectic urban lives. The summer of 1995 had been a bad one; maybe that was what he was talking about? "We're here, at the research station in Homeworld's system."

Distrust and disbelief closed off his expression at the mention of Homeworld, and she realized that, beneath his confusion, some of his memory must be operating. "Scotty, where do you think you are?"

He opened his mouth to reply, or to defy her with a nonanswer, but before he could form the first word, confusion set back in. "Rina? What are you doing here?"

Tears started to her eyes at the casual, natural use of his nickname for her. She hadn't realized she missed it. "I'm here to see you," she managed.

"Am I sick?" he looked around in puzzlement. "Where—"

He faded out again.

——————————

It went on and on. She caught flashes of situations she recognized; sometimes she thought he understood what was happening to him, but he was never able to resist the next memory coming along and displacing the present. She couldn't get him anchored into a coherent timeline, no matter how much she explained and argued. Every time they seemed on the verge of making a connection, the memory slid from their hands like a wriggling fish making its escape into a school of its fellows. She was hoarse and on the verge of tears when Tirqwin came to relieve her.

"Khediva and I are going to try a link," he told her. "Go and get some rest."

Sabrina turned to say good-bye to Scotty, but he was already talking to Tirqwin. Sabrina vaguely noted that the conversation sounded like one from their early days together as she left the room.
Ford was in the hallway waiting for her. "Come on," he said. "If anyone can straighten him out, Father and Khediva should be the ones. You need to get some rest so Scotty doesn't have our heads when he gets well."

"And what are the chances of that?" she asked, a little surprised at the bitterness in her voice. "If he hasn't been able to order the memories by now, doesn't it get more unlikely with every moment that he'll ever be able to?"

"Not necessarily," Ford said. "He may just need some help. He...doesn't remember how to remember. If somebody can get in there and show him, he should be fine."

Sabrina sighed, unconvinced but too tired to argue or demand a more involved explanation.