The Secret Circle Season 2

Life Continued.

18. Life continued.

It's funny how even though the thing that is most important to you, can mean absolutely nothing to others. My world was Adam. He was absolutely everything to me. But he was torn away from me just like that.

Yet, there were people in the world who didn't even know he existed. People were celebrating, people were running errands, people were creating memories, people were welcoming new lives, peoples lives were still continuing.

Even though all those things were happening around me there was something much worse. The worst thing was I knew it was my fault. I could have saved him. But I was too struck out by fear. I let fear control me and it was a mistake I would never partake in again.

When the hospital caught on fire only a few people died. The swarm of firemen got it out on time but that didn't mean anything to me. I wanted to die. I wanted to be with Adam. There was only one thing worth living for. The thing that kept me going was also going to cause immense pain every day of the rest of my life. But I would have to live with that.

•••• ••••••

I was finally out of the hospital but it wasn't a congratulatory day. I was leaving the hospital to attend my fiancés funeral.

Like I was saying earlier, nothing changed. My life had completely stopped but everything remained normal. It's like the universe didn't even notice the absence of Adam.

The weather was normal. Pale sky and low clouds. It resembled my insides. Bland and pale. Nothing extraordinarily beautiful.

Attending the funeral was heartbreaking. My lifeless love was laying there before me, coffined. I was a mess to say the least. But I didn't hide it. I didn't care who saw me absolutely break down over the loss of someone who meant so much to me.

Breaking me out of thought I realized it was my turn to speak when a hand was placed over mine and I was being brought to the podium.

I sniffled and wiped my eyes then spoke what ever words came to mind. The words summoned up from my soul spew out of my mouth laced with passion and emotion.

"My name is Cassie. Adam Conant was the great star-crossed love of my life. Ours was an epic love story, and I won't be able to get more than a sentence into it without disappearing into a puddle of tears. Adam knew. Adam knows. I will not tell you our love story, because like all real love stories, it will die with us. As it should. I'd hoped that he'd be eulogizing me, because there is no one I'd rather have. I can't talk about our love story, so I will talk about math. I am not a mathematician, but I know this. There is an infinite between 0 and 1. There's .1 and .12 and .112 and an infinite collection of others. Of course there is a bigger infinite set of numbers between 0 and 2, or between 0 and a million. Some infinities are bigger than other infinities. There are days, many days of them, when I resent the size of my unbounded set. I want more numbers than I'm likely to get, and God, I want more numbers for Adam Conant than he got. But, Adam, my love, I cannot tell you how thankful I am for our little infinity. I wouldn't trade it for the world. You have me a forever within the numbered days, and I'm grateful. And as forever as that was I now have two more forevers to face. A forever without your perfect self and a forever with our child. Where she will grow up and know the greatness of her father and all his being."

A few gasps were let out and I felt a buzz of magic tingle in my stomach. I stepped down from the stand and made my way back to my seat.

Here was the start of new forevers.

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okay i did cry while writing this because a montage of adam and cassie played in my mind and im not okay. Omg

Okay link to video of them that made me cry harder: http://youtu.be/41g0XgM0h04