(Chapter 138) Foolish to Hope

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Even days after the attack Lucy still struggled waking up against throbbing wounds, but had to remind herself she was one of the lucky ones able to wake up. She hadn't gone to bed until late last night, after helping with the injured for so long Freya had to walk her back to her dorm after overexertion caused her to suddenly collapse. But Lucy was preparing to do just as much today as she dressed and immediately headed to the infirmary.

"How is he?" Lucy asked Pecilia standing over Jasper's bedside as she had been all night.

"He seems ok," Pecilia said but peered at the wrappings over Jasper's left eyes in deep remorse.

Lucy felt just as much sorrow and made to change the bandages. There were many others she had to get to by the end of the day, but Jasper was always her first patient, and the only one who still hadn't woken up or had anyone else to care for him. The others had family and friends coming to their bedsides, while Jasper's parents had to travel from far away to reach Attwood. Lucy still assisted everyone as much as she could while most turned their noses at her, still accepting her help but with unwarranted attitudes. Lucy would sigh when she overheard them whisper slangs behind her back, but what really troubled her was when they would gossip about the rumors of war with the nations they believed had arranged the attack, like Etilia, or Estera, or Merra. And how the Conclave was deciding to retaliate. She would grip whatever medicine or wrappings in her hand extra hard, worrying over what that would mean for the artifact users, especially Algernon, who she hadn't yet seen since the attack until he just now arrived at the infirmary, striding in as domineering and solemn as ever if not more so.

Everyone's eyes in the room went to him, but Algernon only cared to catch Lucy's. His chest fluttered at meeting her gaze, but he grabbed hold of his emotions to stifle them down and made sure not to give her a second look, not while everyone else was watching and not while the issues from the Conclave were still fresh on his mind.

Lucy's heart plunged at the cold brush off, and what it applied; he wasn't going to acknowledge her, not with anyone around to see.

Algernon went about the room passing out the salve he created in the greenhouse for the injured. His poor plant may never recover from so much pruning but the sacrifice was well worth it as he got a reason to finally see Lucy and know that she was ok, even if it felt like he was fighting against a tidal wave to keep away from her.

"Here," Algernon said, speaking only to Pecilia as he held out a yellow vial to her. "Rub this over his injured eye."

Pecilia stayed with her hands crossed over her chest glaring at Algernon while not making any moves to grab the potion.

Algernon read into her degrading scowl and placed the medicine on the bedside table.

Lucy waited as Algernon stood before her and didn't so much as look in her direction. And her hands wound around each other so tightly she started to lose feeling in them as she sensed the familiar shift back to cold distance.

Algernon tried his hardest but he couldn't help but steal one more glance at Lucy before exiting, hoping no one caught him.

But of course, Pecilia did.

"I don't know what you expected," Pecilia said to Lucy after Algernon had left and taken the attention of everyone in the room with him, along with Lucy's hopes. "But this is all you'll ever get from him."

Lucy nodded back, but couldn't meet her gaze, or unwind her hands from where they were still wringing around each other as if they were holding together her tearing heart. She took the salve from the table and spread it over the gash across Jasper's eyes, instantly recognizing the plant's aroma. It smelled as Algernon did and made her think of the greenhouse and all the strange times she shared with him inside of it. Like when she thought she saw deformed creatures of nightmares about to attack them before he passed out in exhaustion on her lap. She even preferred that horrifying moment with him to the frigid indifference he treated her with now. And she thought about the empathatos that were probably just as neglected as she was currently. She couldn't help but feel like they were one and the same. Something Algernon only tended to when he had the time or want, but was the last thing he worried about. Lucy felt selfish to wish their relationship was anything else, and foolish to hope she might have meant anything more.

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