Heads or Tails ?

Chapter Sixty-Two

A couple weeks later,

Harry's pov

"Alright," Louis calls as we walk down the stairs, our suitcases in hands. I can hear the edge in his voice, the way he tries to keep it steady and calm.

He has been feeling very anxious for the past few days, and only five minutes ago he was running around the bedroom with his hands shaking as he made sure we didn't forget anything important.

I was the one trying to calm him down for once, but it wasn't easy trying to make him relax when I was just as fidgety and anxious as him.

I basically forced him to sit on the bed and take a moment to breathe before we decided to go down, knowing that this, this was going to be the hardest part.

When we reach the bottom floor everyone turns towards us, standing up from the sofas. They all have sad, but also very tired looks on their faces, and I have to chew on my lips to try to stop their trembling

I can't start crying already, or I don't think I'll ever stop.

"It's time to go." Louis breathes out, letting go of his suitcase and smiling softly.

Liam is the first one to grab me, and I let him pull me into a tight bear hug, closing my eyes as I hear him speak into my ear, quietly enough that I'm the only one who hears it.

"Take care of yourself, and take care of Louis too. Be careful, don't get yourself into shitty situations cause I won't be there to save you anymore alright ? I'm proud of you Harry, I'm very proud of you." he says and fuck, fuck kthis means more to me than he realizes.

"Text when you land yeah ? So we know everything is alright." he says when he pulls away, giving me a smile. It's sad, but it's genuine and it makes my heart ache. I nod and hug him quickly again, before he goes to Louis.

Jules is the next one to hug me, holding me for a long moment and not pulling away until I'm starting to suffocate in their arms. "You're going to be fine darling, I'm sure." they whisper, pressing a kiss to my cheek and I nod again, but I can't say anything in response.

Because I'm not sure.

I'm scared, I'm scared to leave something that has been my life for years now, to leave the people that I love most in the world, to leave my family and my friends.

But there's something there, it's small but it's there. Some kind of hope, a need, a desire to get better, and I know neither Louis and I will be able to do that if we stay here.

"Promise that you'll call," Niall sniffles, reaching out for me as soon as I'm taking a step back from Jules and engulfing me into a tight hug, almost crushing me from the force of it. "A lot, like every day, like every week I don't know just.. call, please."

"I will Ni, I promise." I say, my voice trembling, "I'll text you even if I can't call. We're not going away forever, we just need some time... away from all of this." I continue, fighting against my own emotions when we pull away, and Niall gives me a nod and a smile, his eyes full of compassion.

I know he gets it, they all get it, that's why none of them argued and tried to get us to stay when we told them we were going to leave.

They were sad that we were leaving, maybe even disappointed in a way, but they understood, of course they understood.

It was an awful decision to make, it was probably the worse I've ever had to make actually, but we need it, we know we do.

After everything happened Louis and I had a long, too long conversation, that involved a lot of crying and mourning and hugging.