Heads or Tails ?

Chapter Forty-Two

Liam's pov

Saying I'm tired would be the biggest understatement of the world.

I think I'm kind... of half dead at the moment. My body is moving, my hands are moving and my eyes are moving and my brain is working but everything is on autopilot, it's mechanical.

My mind is kind of blank, only filled with the need to rest and sleep and get a moment to myself.

It has been months, too many fucking months since all of this shit started, and I never managed to catch a fucking breath.

I spend entire days and nights calling and emailing and sending fucking letters to try to get informations. 

Talking to every single people I know and trust at least a little bit. But their answers are always the same;

"I don't know where Simon is."

"I'm sorry, I can't tell you anything..."

People are fucking terrified of this guy, and for good fucking reasons.

His reputation makes him feel untouchable.. and unattainable.

But if everyone is so scared of the repercussions they could get from giving us information, of what Simon could- would do to them if they did speak to us, then I will never be able to get anything out of them.

Niall spends basically all of his time glued to his laptop checking security cameras of every single places where Simon could possibly be, he looks through everything he manages to get access to, but he never founds anything interesting, of course he doesn't.

All of his houses are empty, he never goes to his offices or to his associates and friend's house, he just literally disappeared into thin air.

He could be in fucking Alaska, he could be in another fucking country and on the other side of the planet for all we know. But he also could be only a couple blocks away from us, and that's what's fucking killing me.

And if we don't find him, there is absolutely nothing we can do expect wait and... pray.

And I'm not great with prayers.

It's really not easy to send everyone on jobs at the moment, because at the same time I want them to stay busy and work and keep going with their lives, but I have to make sure that they're safe wherever they're going, I have to make sure that they're not risking being seen by people who know Simon.

Now that we know one of the medics we used to work with gave people our informations, I don't trust anybody anymore, expect the people in this house, and Moon of course.

But that means that we don't use cleaning teams anymore, we don't have anybody to help us anymore. It's just us against the whole fucking world. 

I don't take any new clients anymore, and I only accept jobs from clients that we've worked for many times in the past and that I'm sure have no connection to Simon. 

So things aren't exactly as easy as they used to be.

Moon is doing a little better though, which is the only thing that makes me feel a little better.

She calls us every couple days, but she calls me personally at least once a week and asks me questions about Simon and all of the current fucked up situation. 

And I know not being here and not knowing what's going on is really difficult for her.

She's the one that suffers the most from all of this.

She's the one who lost the love of her fucking life because of him.

I can't even imagine what it would be like to loose Jules the same way she lost Jade, to just have them leave the house one day and come back dead and cold.