Maybe This Time

Prologue

Y/N'S POV

E.R is the most chaotic place you've ever seen. Family members crying, patients thinking they're going to die, blood is scattered on the floor, doctors and nurses are tired due to toxic duties. Interns eager to learn and witness some kind of miracle.

While you wonder your eyes in this messy room you can the doctors and nurses doing their very best to save someone's life. To make the families stop crying, to avoid the floor painted red. And for them to get some rest and go home.

I know you're wondering who so let me introduce myself; I'm Y/N Y/M/N Y/L/N, an attending Pediatric Surgeon. I'm 28, single, well almost got married but it didn't happen. I'm currently living my life in this toxic loving place. What do you want to know? Um- I like red and black color, I sing but only when I'm alone. The best place for me is inside the OR and here in the ER. I'm a coffee lover, I love the black one.

Your wondering why I answer that I'm almost got married well this is what happen-

"Coffee?" Jane asks pulling me out from my little world. I get the coffee, taking a sip. The hot substance lingers in my throat, waking up my sleeping nerves, keeping my heart in a beat. "Thanks. I badly need this now" I said. She looks at me while drinking my coffee. "What?" I asked taking another sip. "I may or may not set you on a blind date" she informs me, I choke the hot coffee giving me hard time to breath. "Shit. Sorry, I should say that earlier before giving you a coffee" she said caressing my back.

"YOU DID WHAT?!" I shout asking her. I have never been on any date for the past 5 years since that happen. She smiles nervously at me. "I get you on a blind date". "For what?!" I ask. I never date anyone after her. I can't find myself loving someone. Though I'll be honest I have many flings but I found myself missing her every damn time.

"So you won't be single. It's been 5 years, Y/N. Why not give yourself a chance to date. And maybe you get laid so you won't be that moody always" she said rolling her eyes. I get the first few sentences but the last one?! Me moody? I am but getting my mood better by having sex?! Never!

"What did you just say?" I glared at her. "See. You need a date to get laid. We need to control that moodiness of yours." She said in a sassy tone. "Well for your information, I don't need sex to get my mood in control." I counter back. "Whatever you said, you're going to the date I set up" she stands up and starts walking. "Bitch, I'm not going." I firmly said. "Okay then, give a good reason why," she said. Okay, brain you need to work now. Think. Think. Think.

"Because you have a lame taste of giving me a date. Besides, I don't like you setting me up in a man. Bitch I'm your best friend and you didn't know I love boobs." I reason out. "Yeah, I know your gay. I giving you options, and hey im offended I have good taste duh." She told me. "Whatever" I mocked her.

They all leave me alone. It's nothing new, I'm used to it, the feeling of loneliness and being penetrated in a dark place. 

I'm in my office, doing my post-off charts from my patients. I paused for a minute to stretch my muscles. My mind decides to play the memories of the past, giving me the same scene she said and leaving me alone. It's supposed to be our wedding day, but everything has been canceled, the reason? The bride left her bride.

I walk through my office and stare outside, the moonlight reflecting giving me enough light to see the outside world. As my mind wanders the place, my heart started to play all the memories I'm trying to forget. Jane is right, I haven't been able to move on yet. I'm still stuck in the past. It feels like everything happened yesterday, wounds are still alive and bleeding. I'm still mourning my heart. 

I was caught off guard by thinking of the image of her. I'm still a fool for still loving her after all these years. I thought I've already moved on, I thought I'm already escaped the past.  But damn it when they mention her name I just want to punch my face. 

Is that even possible, that the person who promises you to love and fight for you and break your heart in a million pieces, the one who promises you to stick with you through good times and bad times, the one who you made love with, and yet your heart still screaming her name? 

____________

Welcome to my new book. This is going to be a long ride. I won't disappoint you guys. Yeah, it's from a song,  and about the other book titled "to my almost" it may or may not happen here, so if it's happening, you're ready. Buckle up and enjoy the ride. 

Welcome, I hope you enjoy it. Be aware this has mature chapters on its way, so if you are not comfortable skipping the chapter will be fine, you're important to me than the reads or votes. G!P reader.  Don't worry I give you a heads up if it comes. 

See you in the next chapter. 

-jade