football imagines [requests open]

jude bellingham.

torpe

Learning to like or love someone was an unconscious act one did. It was a short process to like someone, a longer one when you learned to love them yet you wouldn't even notice the difference between two—either way, you still held an admiration for them beyond friendly intent.

When you have a deep care for someone, never do you think to care for them—you simply just do. You would go out your way for this person, this friend, this partner—or potential one—and you wouldn't come to notice unless someone pointed it.

Jude, young and young in love, leaned towards Y/N. At first it was just soft care and affection he felt for a friend, small yet common for others. He appreciated them up close and far, checking up on them anytime he could as one friend would do for another.

The two were friends and everything Y/N and Jude did for one another came from the root of partnership through the friendship. The pair weren't exclusive to one another and never were they in the first play, though sometimes, from time to time, did Jude wish otherwise.

Never was it a secret or just something that he didn't want to share with anyone. Though it also wasn't something he wanted to blurt out to everyone, for others to spectate on something he had no sight of. Either way, to let others know or not, everyone knew and he never told them with his words.

Through his grins their way; through his stiff focus whenever Y/N was in attendance; through his talks on their name did he let others know about his liking towards Y/N.  It was common fact rather than a closeted thought.

What he felt about Y/N was real and mature—beyond a small crush. In his eyes, they held more than just his friendship. How he felt, unfortunately, just couldn't be lived out.

"Then why don't you tell them?" A question that he learned to swerve every time. The logical response to his liking to Y/N was to pursue them, right? To confront and to admit everything on his mind, to admit everything on everyone's mind. Jude could—and he would—but his feelings were never given priority to be seen through as they were.

"I was thinking maybe we could do something next weekend." Y/N leaned their arms on the kitchen island, glancing at Jude with a ghost of a smile. Small and comforting, letting him know that they would welcome any answer he gave. "If you're not busy, of course."

"Yeah, sure," he said with his sight on his phone. Outside of their schedules were they around each other, so much that you could say it was a part of their schedules.

"Great. Also, I remember you wanted to tell me something the other day." They took a seat next to him and asked, "What was it?"

Jude looked up from his phone, his mouth falling open. He found himself lost for words even when the answer was obvious. "Oh-- um, nothing." He shrugged with a breezy chuckle. Anyone else but Y/N would know that he didn't find the situation funny. He scratched the nape of his neck. "I don't even remember it myself."

"Are you sure?" Y/N tilted their head. They searched Jude's face for something but found nothing. "The boys keep telling me it's urgent or something. I doubt it but I wanna know."

There were times when he did want to tell them what was constantly on his mind when they were around, to not closet everything to himself. He wanted all he felt to be known. Maybe to see if something, or even, if anything was mutual in the slightest way possible.

Maybe if they saw him the way he saw them, to see if the interest in one another was a two-way path. Wonder and curiosity laid comfortable on his mind, reminding Jude of every different possibility if he just took that leap of faith to admit all that everyone else but Y/N knew.

Wonder and curiosity laid comfortable on his mind, also reminding him of the downsides of outing himself. That's why he stumbled with each word he spoke to them. He would mess up his positive train of thought with some negativity. Never had he felt insecure about himself though the thought of admitting what he felt, however, had him questioning whether he should or not.

Jude, young and young in love, was shy and awkward and nervous in the presence of romantic confrontation. And until that subsided, the possibility of Jude & Y/N would remain an afterthought.

"Positive."