football imagines [requests open]

virgil van dijk.

yonderly

tw: heavy description of mental health difficulties

When you experience a feeling—small or big—it intends to be brushed off to the side, put side to come back to another day, or never again. Feelings, expressions, sensations—all were endured and tolerated regularly. They were common rather than unusual that it was left unquestioned for the most part. To call them into question or worry about something that had no physical shape, something you couldn't even glance at with your best sight just wasn't the best thing to do.

The problem with that was when those feelings, those particularly grave and severe, started off small and misjudged, they expanded over time, and go unnoticed and overlooked. Every time were they given more time to develop into something beyond minor, to appear more grave than expected. Only were they taken into consideration when the problem became an interference to one's well-being.

Laura, unfortunately, faced such a predicament. It started with poor concentration at work, wanting to leave her work office once she approached it. Then her attentive levels fell short, drifting in and out of conservations, and whether on purpose or not was unknown. A mixture of life and work inducing subtle levels of worry often growing from nothing; she would overthink what if's even if their possibilities of occurring were slim to nothing.

But a lot of individuals could relate to Laura and maybe even more than presented. Why would there be the need to question something common amongst others? Common not only from a local perspective but everywhere you went.

However, something being common amongst others didn't equal being normal.

Everything spiralled beyond expectation. One day it was poor work productivity, and another she decided to not be in attendance at all. Clinging onto a conversation shifted towards preferring to refrain herself from speaking at all, placing a vocal distance between herself and others. A sullen mood, tearfulness, feeling overwhelmed by the slightest action, movement or thought—anything and everything in between was felt by Laura, and she hated it. But she couldn't control it. Not now, not anymore. At times she wasn't even aware of it; not aware of what went on within and beyond herself.

She was removed from her social life, her familiar surrounding of friends and family and even her own thoughts, her ability to feel for herself quickly running low. All she felt, all there was felt—from dusk 'till dawn—was heavy dejection and despondency and desolation. For who, over what, where all of this came about? Laura didn't know, and nor did she hold the significant energy to know. She fell low, so low, in every aspect of life that Laura didn't know how to get out of it. It was difficult to remove yourself from a problem you fell into by yourself.

That, however, was all in soul. In body, there were too many around her to count.

Virgil sat on edge of their bed while Laura lied down. Wrapped in layers of blankets, she remained zoned out of present reality. Eye line still before drifting around the room, and so on repeating the process without thought. She would've overlooked her partner's place in the room had he chose to not speak like herself. Even one's physical presence wasn't enough to remind her that she wasn't alone.

He brushed some stray hairs off her forehead, his palm feeling her temperature slowly rise. "Do you want to talk about something?" Virgil asked. He was always there as someone for Laura to open up to. To tell all, to let it known to him what was occupying her mind even if she didn't know. Even if it was something small or insignificant—like what the time was or what day of the week it was—he would be intrigued by her thoughts coming back to life, her voice leaving its absent state. In his patience lived desperation to bond with Laura once again.

And his question became a regular check of the day. When they woke up or before they fell asleep, the time of day was interchangeable. All of his efforts weren't to be annoying, but instead constant. He already was though it was emphasised. Bit by bit did she slip away; there was the need to let her know that he was around. That she wasn't alone, that he would be there even if everything seemed to be getting worse. Regardless of the context, he was there.

Never did he expect a response. It was a hope, yes, but he wasn't about to force something out of Laura that even she struggled to describe or put into words. He remained patient in everything he did for Laura and kept a hold of hope which came to use, eventually, along the way.

"Hey, uh, can we, um—"

He opened his arms, which was timidly accepted. "Come here." Virgil smiled as she drifted into his arms. For a while was physical contact off the table. The return of it felt unreal and exciting for the two. Pulling away to rub her arm, he said, "Let's talk for a minute."

Laura let everything be known. From what it started as to what she could remember—to everything she had a vague understanding of because even still she remained unaware of the small and specific ideas. But it was good—it felt nice in fact—to speak her mind, to give a sense of understanding to her current state, to dispel a sense of unease.

And Virgil listened to everything said. Hearing Laura out in her complexities; refusing to interrupt when detail was given; emphasising their physical contact when she fell short of vocal confidence. Comfort through his words and availability to understand something he had no experience with. Through all of this did Virgil recognise how she felt, and let her feelings be understood in the present moment.

Neither Virgil nor Laura knew the complexities of what was felt and endured. But to have someone understand you even if your way of expression seemed unclear made Laura feel a little bit more in touch with reality. That she could climb out of whatever she initially fell into.

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For mqnetoscldier

Though this situation is fictional, it can certainly be real. If you need someone to talk to, my inbox is for more than just requests :)