Diary of an Anxious Teen

Chapter Twenty

Chapter Eighteen: Entry Thirteen

Date: January 28, 2018

Today is the day of the recital. Yesterday, Rose took the triplets and I to get our nails done. I managed to convince her that I didn't need to go to a salon to get my hair and makeup done. By that, I mean that I had to tell her that she could do my makeup for the recital. Since I agreed to let her do my makeup, the girls insisted that I let them do my hair. Luckily, I convinced them to let me spend the time before the recital with Elijah.

Elijah and I are currently walking hand in hand through the park. It's 4:30 pm; three hours before the recital. We've been talking about the trip we're taking for my birthday.

"Are you excited?" he asks me as we take a seat on a nearby bench.

"Of course!" I exclaim. "Who wouldn't be excited if their boyfriend was planning a birthday trip for them?"

"Have you decided who you want to invite?" he questions, wrapping his arm around my shoulder.

"Um...kind of. I know the immediate people that I want to invite, but I haven't completely decided yet."

We sit in silence for a moment before he speaks again, "Do you think you will be inviting your mom?"

I simply shrug. She and I still haven't been on the best of terms. I haven't talked to or seen her since the incident at the hospital. I've been keeping in touch with my dad, though. He explained his side, so I will definitely be inviting him.

"Have you guys talked at all?" he presses the matter further.

"Nope. We haven't exactly been all buddy-buddy since what she did. Even so, I wouldn't even know what to say to her."

"Well, I don't know what you're going through, but trying will at least ensure that you don't have any regrets."

"I guess so. Um...I think I'm going to invite Raine."

A look of shock passes over his face. I'm not surprised. I haven't even mentioned Raine's name since everything went down. I didn't even tell him what she said to me.

Carmen and I have been taking the bullying for you.

"Carmen and Raine had been getting bullied in my place," I blurt out. Elijah stays silent, allowing me to continue, "She said they thought I was too fragile to handle the bullying myself, which is so frustrating. This entire time, I thought they had been the one's to treat me normal. Instead, they had been sheltering me even more than what I was afraid of. Carmen hadn't even known about my anxiety in the beginning. Normal me was fragile enough."

"Is that why you wanted to publicly stand up to those bullies?" I nod. "It was so much more than proving that you were still strong, even with your anxiety. It was about proving that you were strong as a person."

Eli engulfs me in a hug. I immediately wrap my arms around his waist and bury my face in his chest.

"You really proved what I already knew. You are so strong. I'm so proud of you."

He lightly smooths my hair down. It's right then and there that I am really able to evaluate what I feel about Elijah. He's so sweet and caring, not exclusively to me. He cares for his mother and sisters so much and it definitely shows in everything he does.

I love him.

"I-I love you," I confess still hugging him.

"What?" he asks, slightly pulling away.

"I love you," I state more firmly.

I'm completely sure of what I'm saying. We've been together for a bit, long enough for me to fully understand what I'm feeling. There is no doubt about it.