Diary of an Anxious Teen

Chapter Seventeen

Chapter Seventeen: Entry Eleven

Date: January 10, 2018 

It is now the second night of not being able to see Elijah. Every time I go to see if I can visit, the crabby nurse at the front tells me "it's reserved for family only." I can't reach Rose's or any of the triplets' cell phones, but I can't blame them.

Maybe they're mad at you. It is your fault that Elijah got hurt.

I pull my comforter closer to my body. The blank TV screen allows me to see my reflection. I look horrible. I haven't slept more than thirty minutes at a time and I haven't eaten much. The only time that I leave my room is when I know that everyone is gone. I don't want them to know how bad this is tearing me up.

Along with that, I get these spouts of anger. Some is directed at Raine and some is directed at that stupid group of bullies. The most anger is directed at myself. I shouldn't have provoked them the way that I did. I shouldn't have let Elijah hang back on the stairs. I shouldn't have let this happen. As soon as tears fall from my eyes, there is a knock on the door.

"Delaney," a familiar voice calls. "It's me."

I hear the door open and close. The bed dips beside me and I pull the covers from over my head. I spot my father looking at me.

"Are you okay?" he asks.

I shake my head. My dad has always been the more empathetic parent, so I could always talk to him about my problems.

"I'm...conflicted," I reveal. "Was the incident with Elijah...was it my fault?"

"N-"

"Before you say no, tell me the truth. Don't say no because you're my dad."

He sighs. He scoots up beside me and pulls me into a side hug.

"Delaney, none of this is your fault," he tells me. "Those bullies are the ones to blame."

I wrap my arms around him before speaking. "I can't help but feel angry at Raine. I know it isn't her fault, but this never would have happened if she'd just told someone she was being bullied."

"It's okay to be upset, but you can't blame anyone but those bullies for what happened."

"I-I know. I just can't help it."

We don't speak after that. We just sit in silence. He's right. I shouldn't be upset at Raine, but I can't stop. If she had told me or anyone that she was being bullied, this wouldn't have happened. Elijah would still be okay.

I don't notice that my dad has left until the door clicks. I immediately begin to cry. I curl up into a ball and wrap my arms around my legs. I cry and I cry until I have no more tears left. My throat is dry and I can feel the puffiness of my eyes. I sniffle until I can hear the ring of my cell phone. I pause when I recognize the ring tone.

I quickly hop out of my bed and grab my phone from my bedside table. I stare down at the phone in disbelief.

There's no way he's calling me.

"H-Hello," I answer in a croaky voice.

"Delaney! Thank goodness you answered," says Rose on the other side of the phone. "We've got good news."

I sniffle and ask what it is. Not going to lie, I'm very disappointed to not be hearing my boyfriend's voice. I was hoping that it was him. But, I guess beggars can't be choosers.

"They're allowing visitors. I can come and pick you up."

I perk up at that and respond, "Would you, please?"