apricate; enhypen imagines

yang jungwon - words

note: au??

tw: mentions of blood, death, and suicide

1816 words

- linden

Blood is supposed to be warm. Warm, and inside one's body. So why was it sickeningly hot and dancing across the ground in rivers of red?

"It was never your fault." He whispered. You stared up into the dove gray clouds that hovered over your house. "Words, don't bring people back, Jungwon." You said softly. You traced shapes into the frost on your window, supporting your body with your other hand, which was planted on the windowsill.

You heard Jungwon moving, but didn't react. A swirl of cold air whispered against the skin of your arm, and you felt Jungwon's warm fingers closing around yours, halting the creation of a circle on the windowpane.

"Maybe they don't. But I've been around you long enough that I know what you're thinking."

"What am I thinking then?" Your voice was only just audible.

"I know you're thinking about the time you tried to climb out this window and jump from the roof last month." You felt his other arm wrap around your shoulders and pull you into him in a protective hold. Away from the window.

"You weren't there." You felt sadness well up in your throat, choking you and blocking your airways. Jungwon loosened his grip on you a little so he could lean down to put his head on your shoulder. You reached out to touch the window again, but Jungwon wouldn't let you. A cold draft rushed into the room, prickling your skin. "You weren't there." You murmured again.

You stared at your sister's body. You stared at the body. You stared at it as if it were an alien creature from another planet. The blood was hot and sticky on your hands, dripping slowly. The car hadn't even bothered to stop. But this really wasn't their fault was it? They might not have noticed. And after all, you were the one who had pushed her. You were the one who had pushed her. Of course, you hadn't meant to kill her. Your own sister. If anything, she would've just fallen and had to get up. It was harmless.

But then the car came soaring across the gravel of the side road you were walking on. You had pushed her, and she had fallen, laughing. You went to help her up, but the car was flying at you with speed like a rocket. She kicked you in the knee, and sent you stumbling back with a cry of pain. You closed your eyes when you felt tears, and lightning in your knee. But when you opened them, the life in her eyes was gone, and she was lying broken with red all around her. You hadn't even heard her screams over the rush in your head.

You couldn't even cry. Not from the physical pain of your broken knee, or from the emotional pain of what you had just witnessed. You crawled forward with dry sobs erupting from your body. You clawed at her, at her hair, at her clothes.

Blood is supposed to be warm. Warm, and inside one's body. So why was it sickeningly hot and dancing across the ground in rivers of red?

You lifted her to your chest. "Wake up, wake up." You croaked. "What happened?" You scanned her face for any life, but you were met by a pale, twisted mess. "This isn't you." Your throat was dry when you tried to follow. "This isn't you." You scrambled away from her, letting her head hit the ground with a crack, and stared. You could feel the gravel scratching at your legs like claws, and the fire that shot up and down your left leg from your knee. But at the same time, you felt numb.

You just stared and stared.

You were sitting on the ground with Jungwon now. "I know I wasn't there, but I know you're thinking of committing again. Don't even think about it. Because before you can kill yourself. I'll kill myself." He glared at you, but you just looked up at him with your eyes soft and filled with hurting. "It's only been six months, Jungwon." You whimpered. "It hurts." Your entire body felt melty with sadness, as he pulled you into his chest. You breathed in his calm scent of rain and ginger.