Diamond nation

16. You are a gem Chae, an invaluable gem

"My heart shattered", Chaerin continued, tears rolling down her eyes. "Because I had the biggest crush on you. That day I came to ask you out. But all you were doing was sitting and discussing why I should read Vogue instead of a business magazine. Years passed and I forgot about it because I figured it was the immature side of you that spoke and that you became a better person. You helped me through things and I wanted to be a friend that was there for you. But turns out you are still as shitty. You conveniently want things when they please you. I became 'beautiful' according to society standards and all of a sudden you began flirting with me, trying to whisk me out on dates. Perhaps, getting into my pants would have ultimately soothed your ego?"

"ITS NOT LIKE THAT", Taehyung yelled. "IT WAS NEVER LIKE THAT"

"What was it then?", Chaerin shot back. "Are you going to deny saying those words now? You think lying will get you out of the shitty things you said?"

"I said it", he stated, feeling guilty. "I said it not because I meant it. Not because I thought you were ugly. But because I didn't want any of them dating you. And they wouldn't have left you alone if I didn't convince them that you weren't worth their time. It was a shitty thing to do but it was the only way out"

"And so you made me sound like a dirtbag? Like an ugly ogre that everyone should stay away from", Chaerin shot back. "You said this about a 14 year old. About an innocent 14 year old who only wanted to ask her crush out. Is this the best your 17 year old, studied at the top school in the world brain could come up with? And who even were you to keep them away from me? Why the heck did you think you could control things around me?"

"BECAUSE I LOVED YOU", Taehyung yelled and Chaerin was taken aback as she heard this. "Because I loved you...", he repeated at a lower tone. "Ever since the day I saw you with Alison for the first time, wearing that pink unicorn dress, having a butterfly clip in your head and with glitter shoes that squeaked when you walked. When you called me slow, pushed me out of my chair to solve math problems. Ever since that day...."

Chaerin was out of words as she heard this, not knowing how to react to this confession.

"No fuck it", Taehyung continued, as tears rolled down his own eyes. "I still love you. Have been in love with you all these years. And will probably keep loving you because I am a sore loser and my heart wants what it wants. I have no control on it. I tried dating other women, slept around, even went on potential marriage matches. But for some reason...", he paused to chuckle sadly. "Its always been you. I run out of words when I see you. My vision gets tunnelled when you are around. Its like anything I am doing, I want to look up to catch a glimpse of your face. The world outside becomes hazy", he paused.

"But you know what else I have been all these years? A coward. A coward who was so scared of hearing a 'no' that he would have never recovered from it. So for the fear of losing, I never took the plunge. And I absolutely hate that I have to tell you this now, to defend myself but Chaerin... you... you were to me the most beautiful woman and will always be one"

"So you flirted with me shamelessly", anger spewed from Chaerin's voice. "Just because you didn't have what it took to ask me out. You didn't even try Taehyung. YOU DIDN'T EVEN TRY. All these years I suppressed a crush that hurt every last of my feelings and now that I am finally happy with Jungkook, you cannot stand seeing it. So why didn't you do anything when you had the chance?", she softly spoke the last bit.

"It is my biggest regret", Taehyung answered. "And my biggest mistake. Can we still give it a shot—"

"No", Chaerin immediately cut in. "No"

Taehyung's heart shattered as he heard the cursed word. The word he had been trying to avoid all his life.

Chaerin looked down at her feet, trying to string together words to speak. "Maybe if you had more courage before Taehyung, things would have been different today. But its too late now. I like Jungkook. And I like him a lot"