start over | dreamwastaken x reader (sequel to split)

13 | UNLIKE HOME

"Babe, you okay?" Clay's voice sounds from the other side as he cracks the door open. The sight of his face has more vomit rising up and out of my mouth.

He rushes inside and sooths his hand up and down my back. I want him away. I want him out of my space because he's the cause of this. He's the reason my entire dinner is now in the toilet. He's the reason I have pain. I will always blame him because I'm a bitch who can't take fault for something I've done.

"I'm fine." I ruggedly flush the toilet and push past him and out of the bathroom. My shoulder connects with his as he stands. It's like he's not even there. This is the most cold I have ever been to the love of my life. But I can't do another round of secrets. Things are supposed to be different. They are, but so much is the god damn same.

"Woah." Clay grabs my wrist tightly before I can escape back into my dungeon of sorrow. "How about you drop the fucking attitude and tell me what's wrong?" He jerks my arm towards him as he speaks. As if his aggression would scare me. Yeah, right.

"How about you stop hiding shit from me?" I try and rip my arm from his grip but his fingers only dig deeper into my skin as I yank away. I can literally feel the bruise forming the harder he squeezes. What's another mark from a liar?

"What the fuck are you talking about?" Clay's expression puzzles before me. Like you have no idea asshole.

"I don't know Dream. You tell me." I spit back with fire. Using the one word I know will break him. I can't over power him with physical things. But I can over power him with my words. I can cut him deep. I know him better than anyone. I know what breaks him. I know what will hurt.

"I'm not Dream to you." He says past gritted teeth as he lets go of my wrist. But that doesn't mean his aggression is over. He just moves his hands from one part of my body to another. He places his hands firmly against my chest and pushes my back against the wall. He does not scare me.

"You're Dream to the world. You're Dream to people you keep secrets from. You are so oblivious you know?" I shake my head. "You think I don't see things. You think I don't notice things. You think I'm just going to walk back into this life and not see what's happened for the past few months? You think I'm not going to explore, investigate?"

I laugh like I'm crazy. Because fuck I feel like I'm going crazy. Hell, I am going crazy. Because I can't take this bullshit anymore. I can't take the secrets. I can't take the lies. I am so sick and tired of being just this bullshit joke to the people who are supposed to be my world. I'm done. I'm... done.

"You are sadly mistaken Dream. Why don't you tell your new bitch her underwear are in the trash? Why don't you let her know she can have you?" I break. The tears fall. The sobs come. All control has been lost. He's got me.

"Babe..." Clay loops his arms under mine as I drop to the floor. He lowers me slowly to the ground before cupping my face in his hands. I try to look away but his fingers brushing away the constant tears only makes me want to feed into his touch. The touch that brings such a warmth but now such a hatred.

"I let you go because we needed to grow apart to grow together." I mimic words he's told me so many times that they've played on repeat in my head since I found the object that killed me. "I can't be with anyone but you." I state another with tears still streaming down my cheeks.

"It's all fucking bullshit!" I scream and grab at his arms, pulling them away from my cheeks. "I hope she was worth it."

I stand up and enter my room. He's not quick enough to stop me. The shock of it all has him stunned. I know that the entire house has heard, I know that Karl has heard. And I don't care because this is my real life. Dealing with the bullshit this man has put me through. I should have stayed away when I had the chance. Because fuck I deserve better than this bullshit.