The Sun Rays

TSR L: Celeste

== Hong, Jisoo ==

When things became so clear and calm, I begin to get scared. The moment that things go well, we began fearing it. I am frightened but I have to be strong for us. Elora needs me right now and I need her forever. For past months after that incident, I knew I lost her, again. She became way too fragile but I understand.

I began to hear her sob silently every night. Just like tonight and it breaks my heart. Hearing her sniffling but never told me that she's still in pain hurts. We never prayed for this moment to come and it still hurts. And it will still pain her.

I adjusted myself on the bed and moved near her. I gave her a very tight hug. "It's okay, sunshine. You can cry." Upon uttering those words, her sobs became louder and she turned herself and face my direction and pulled her closer to me. She snuggled closer too.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry," she apologized in between sobs and the pain is writhing inside me. I don't like the reality that she still blames herself for what happened again.

I rubbed her back and let her cry even more. "Don't be. You did nothing wrong, cinnamon. Stop blaming yourself," I said while still caressing her back. "Can you cry everything now? But promise me to not cry again tomorrow? Because it's been months, sunshine. Baby Celeste, will not be happy to see you crying all night here. I know it hurts, sunshine. I know it hurts and I wouldn't know your pain because you carried her as her mom. But as her dad I am also hurt sunshine," I paused. "Because I was too late to save both of you from that crazy person and it hurts me more to see you like this..." I stopped and the tears that I have been hiding for months fell. She's now looking at me in the eye. "It hurts me more than you are blaming yourself for things that weren't even your fault. It hurts that we continuously hurt for the things that we cannot control," I honestly told her and she stopped crying when she saw me cry.

"I'm sorry, babe for not seeing that you're in pain too," she apologetically said while wiping away my tears. We cuddled to comfort each other. Because we already promised to conquer everything together even if it will be so hard, we will do this together.

Elora is in pain and I am in pain. Every single time we thought we are happy; it will always turn out so badly. Both of us became traumatized by the calmness. It was so terrible because it was supposedly a great thing but it's not for us.

A few months ago, I went home excitedly to give her the coconut pie I baked for her however I didn't see her at home. I was told that she received a message from me saying we will have dinner outside. Elora said she was excited that's why she didn't verify it again. She became excited because I know we haven't gone out together and I felt guilty for that. I was just securing both Luan and Elora for their safety because we know nothing.

She told me that she went out and rode a taxi that took her to somewhere else after she knocked to sleep when she smelled something. When she woke up, she was already in an abandoned building in who knows where. I can't imagine how horrified she was when she was alone in there.

I traced her phone but then it was no longer active. Luckily, she was wearing a necklace that was given to her by Yanika. It was special because it has a tracking device embedded so we can trace her through it. I told my friends about it because for once in my life, I also wanted to become transparent to them. But we can't go in there all because it might cause damage. We can't risk it. Remembering how fragile she is because she's carrying our soon-to-be daughter. Yep, it was a baby girl after her check-up, we found out it was a princess.